Kids In Grade School Think Fast

[maverik-sg1]

>> >*>> >

>> >TEACHER: Why are you late?

>> >WEBSTER: Because of the sign.

>> >TEACHER: What sign

>> >WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

>> >_____________

>> >

>> >TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the

>> >floor?

>> >CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!

>> >_____________

>> >

>> >TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?"

>> >JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"

>> >TEACHER: No, that's wrong

>> >JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

>> >_____________

>> >

>> >TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?

>> >SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!

>> >TEACHER: What are you talking about?

>> >SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

>> >______________

>> >

>> >TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.

>> >GEORGE: Here it is!

>> >TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?

>> >CLASS: George!

>> >______________

>> >

>> >TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have today that we

>> >didn't have ten years ago.

>> >WILLIE: Me!

>> >______________

>> >

>> >TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?

>> >TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

>> >______________

>> >

>> >TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."

>> >ELLEN: I is...

>> >TEACHER: No, Ellen..... Always say, "I am."

>> >ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

>> >_____________

>> >

>> >TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"

>> >JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same

>> >time."

>> >_____________

>> >

>> >TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's

>> >cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his

>> >father didn't punish him?"

>> >JOHNNY: "Because George still had the ax in his hand."

>> >______________

>> >

>> >TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before

>> >eating?

>> >SAM: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. *

>> >*_______________

>> >

>> >TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same

>> >as your brother's. Did you copy his?

>> >DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

>> >______________

>> >

>> >TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people

>> >are no longer interested?

>> >PUPIL: A teacher.*

 

[K404]

Those are good

From my own school days:

Teacher: "Why are you late?"

Pupil: "My bed wouldnt let me get up"

Teacher: "why are you late?"

Pupil: "Coz I wasnt on time Sir"

(not me for either!)

 

[boardy]

Nice I like those.

I remember when I did one of these it went kinda like this (the teacher was slightly mad) and I was a right pain in the rectum at school. Always getting told off and such things...

Teacher - Why are you late?

Me - The bus was late sir

Teacher - So if I call up the bus company they will confirm this yes?

Me - Well they should do....OR I have a better idea, just ask anyone else that gets the same bus.

Teacher - Right, thats it

*Grabs my tie and staples it to his desk*

Teacher - Now, go and sit down, I want to see you at lunchtime for your rudeness.

Me - Well pardon my rudeness sir, but you just stapled my sodding tie to your desk, how do you expect me to sit at MY desk, could you sit at mine and I'll have yours seeing as you seem so intent on making me stay here?

Teacher - Err, right, yes I see your point, that was a little silly wasn't it?

Me - Yes, now could you kindly remove my f**cking tie from your desk so I can sit down?

I got a little told off for the last comment but it was hilarious to class lol. The same teacher also duck taped a guy in my class to his chair cos he kept getting up, and said right now get up and write the answer to that on the board.

He got fired for doing rash things lol. He had an obsession with blowing up jelly babies aswell, strange man!!

 

[Master_G]

Lol, those are some great answers, i could never be a teacher, couldnt put up with them lol.

I think that is why you end up with these nutter teachers. Good for a laugh anyway

G