FarFarAway
New member
That annoys you:
Random said:Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar... I am suffering from rare and
deadly
diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being
kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not
forwarding out 50 billion f*cking chain letters sent to me by people
who
actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor f*cking 6
year
old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to
raise
enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her
off
to the traveling freak show.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and
everyone you send his email to $1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, looky
here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by
every
Playboy Bunny in the magazine! What a bunch of f*cking bullsh*t.
So basically, this message is a big F*CK YOU to all the people out
there
who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail
forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my
apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain
which
was started by Ceaser in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by
midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000,
it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous
streak of blatant stupidity.
F*ck them!
If you're going to forward something, at least send me something
mildly
amusing. I've seen all the 'send this to 50 of your closest friends,
and
this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a
Nickel from some omniscient being forwards about 90 times. I don't
****ing care. Show a little intelligence and think about what you're
actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's
your
own unpopularity.
THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
Chain Letter Type 1:
(scroll down)
Make a wish!!!
Keep Scrolling
No, really, go on and make one!!!
Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!
Wish something else!!!
Not that, you pervert!!
STOP!!!!
Wasn't that fun?
Hope you made a great wish
Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if
you
don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be
raped
by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure.
It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't like those fake ones, THIS one
is
TRUE!! Really!!! Here's how it goes:
*Send this to 1 person: One person will be ****ed off at you for
sending them a stupid chain letter.
*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be ****ed off at you for
sending them a stupid chain letter.
*Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be ****ed off at you for
sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.
*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be ****ed off at you
for sending them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your house.
Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
Chain Letter Type 2
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a
starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no
legs,
no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved,
because
for every
time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving
Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund.
Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the emails
sent
and this is all a complete load of bull****. So go on, reach out. Send
this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds.
Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people,
you will die instantly.
Thanks again!!
Chain Letter Type 3
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is
absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not
as many sad *****s with nothing better to do.
So this is how it works... Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next
7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:
*Bizarre Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had
recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a
crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a
drainpipe
in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only
did
she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!
*Bizarre Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and
ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his
boyfriend
(hey, some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell and
were cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity.
This Could Happen To You Too!!! Remember, you could end up just like
Pinsley and Bip. Just send this letter to all of your loser friends,
and
everything will be okay.
Chain Letter Type 4
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to all your
friends.
FRIENDS:
A friend is someone who is always at your side.
A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of ****, and
your breath smells like you've been eating catfood.
A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as ugly as a hat
full of a**eholes.
A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled
yourself.
A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about
your sad, sad life.
A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think
you should be raped by mad goats, then thrown to vicious dogs.
A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets the
check and leaves and doesn't speak much English...no, sorry that's the
cleaning lady.
A friend is NOT someone who sends you chain letters because he wants
his
wish of being rich to come true.
Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never have sex ever again!
The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to
leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.
If
it's funny, send it on. Don't **** people off by making them feel
guilty
about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead
elephant for 27 years, whose onl y savior is the 5 cents per letter
he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like
Miranda. Right?
Now forward this to everyone that you know otherwise you'll find all
your knickers missing tomorrow morning!
