Baron_Greenback
New member
Clever ...
CLASSIC VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks
he's a fool,and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper
has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. THE END
THE BRITISH VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house
and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a
fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter,
the ant is warm and well fed.
So far, so good, eh?
The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know
why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others
less fortunate, like him, are cold and starving. The BBC shows up to
provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a
video of the ant in his comfortable warm home in Hampstead with a
table laden with food. The British are stunned that in a country of
such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while
others have plenty.
The Liberal Party, the Respect Party, the Transvestites With Starving
Babies Party, the Single Lesbian One Eyed Mothers Party and the
Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's house. The
BBC, interrupting a Rastafarian cultural festival special from Grimsby
with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome."
Ken Livingstone laments in an interview with Panorama that the ant has
got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax
hike on
the ant to make him pay his "fair share". In response, the Labour
Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-
Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to
hire grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay the fine
and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by
Camden Council. The ant moves to France, and starts a successful
AgriBiz company [funded by the EU] (although within weeks, his
business is threatened with compulsory purchase by the state unless he
marries a French ant).
The BBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of
the ant's food, though Spring is still months away, while the
government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old
house, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.
Inadequate government funding is blamed, Diane Abbot is appointed to
head a commission of enquiry that will cost £10,000,000.
The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Guardian blames
it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of
despair arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is taken
over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praised by the government for
enriching Britain's multicultural diversity, who promptly set up a
marijuana growing operations and terrorize the community.
THE END .
CLASSIC VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks
he's a fool,and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper
has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. THE END
THE BRITISH VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house
and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a
fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter,
the ant is warm and well fed.
So far, so good, eh?
The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know
why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others
less fortunate, like him, are cold and starving. The BBC shows up to
provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a
video of the ant in his comfortable warm home in Hampstead with a
table laden with food. The British are stunned that in a country of
such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while
others have plenty.
The Liberal Party, the Respect Party, the Transvestites With Starving
Babies Party, the Single Lesbian One Eyed Mothers Party and the
Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's house. The
BBC, interrupting a Rastafarian cultural festival special from Grimsby
with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome."
Ken Livingstone laments in an interview with Panorama that the ant has
got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax
hike on
the ant to make him pay his "fair share". In response, the Labour
Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-
Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to
hire grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay the fine
and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by
Camden Council. The ant moves to France, and starts a successful
AgriBiz company [funded by the EU] (although within weeks, his
business is threatened with compulsory purchase by the state unless he
marries a French ant).
The BBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of
the ant's food, though Spring is still months away, while the
government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old
house, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.
Inadequate government funding is blamed, Diane Abbot is appointed to
head a commission of enquiry that will cost £10,000,000.
The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Guardian blames
it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of
despair arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is taken
over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praised by the government for
enriching Britain's multicultural diversity, who promptly set up a
marijuana growing operations and terrorize the community.
THE END .
.
