joke

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Baron_Greenback

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Last Saturday night; a young chap was walking home from a club. It was a

cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing. Most of the

streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only broken by

the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a dustbin. Then

suddenly he heard a strange noise.......

BUMP........

BUMP........

BUMP........

Startled by this, he turned, and to his amazement, through the driving

rain, he saw the faint outline of a large box turning into his road.

BUMP.......

BUMP.......

BUMP.......

He froze to the spot, he couldn't believe his eyes, as the box

approached from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape more

clearly....It was a coffin.

Not wanting anything to do with this, he put his head down and started

walking briskly home.

BUMP.......

BUMP........

BUMP........

He could feel the coffin gaining on him, he started walking

faster.........

BUMP........BUMP......

BUMP........BUMP.....

BUMP........BUMP......

The coffin was closing with his every step, he started to jog, but he

heard the coffin speed up after him......

BUMP.......BUMP......BUMP......

BUMP........BUMP......BUMP......

BUMP........BUMP......BUMP......

He started to sprint, but so did the coffin

BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.

BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.....

BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.

Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was only

seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out his keys,

His hand trembling, he managed to open the lock, he dived inside

slamming the front door behind him. He shot into his front room, and

lumped into his comfy chair.

Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way through

the front door. The force of the impact broke the lock off the coffin

allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty hinges as it continued its

chase.....

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP..SCREECH...

BUMP..SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs could

take him he bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door........

BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...

BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...

BUMP..SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...

The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and

launched itself at the bathroom door. With an almighty smash, the

bathroom door flew off its hinges....

The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to approach the young

terrified lad.

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his bathroom

cabinet......

He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and threw it at the

coffin.......still it came

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

He grabbed his can of Lynx deodorant and threw it .....

Still it came......

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it .still it came......

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

He grabbed some Benylin cough mixture and threw it........

The coffin stopped.
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Ill get my coat shall I
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