Funny Thread - NSFW
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Tripp
too many shrooms
Remmy
New member
All it needed was the entire hangar to collapse on him at the end :L
Tripp
too many shrooms
hahaha the poor guy just couldn't catch a brake could he
barnsley
born in a.....
Dicehunter
Resident Newb
I nearly p***** my pants watching this -
Excalabur50
Well-known member
A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from the Gold Coast when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down.
The man walked up to the car and asked, 'Are you going to the Gold Coast?'
'Sure,' answered the blonde, 'do you need a lift?'
'Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the Gold Coast Zoo.
They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me ? I’ll give you $100 for your trouble....’
'I'd be happy to,' said the blonde.
So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of the Gold Coast when suddenly he was horrified!!
There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd.
With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde.
'What the heck are you doing here?' he demanded, 'I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo.'
'Yes, I know you did,' said the blonde,' but we had money left over --- so now we're going to Sea World.
The man walked up to the car and asked, 'Are you going to the Gold Coast?'
'Sure,' answered the blonde, 'do you need a lift?'
'Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the Gold Coast Zoo.
They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me ? I’ll give you $100 for your trouble....’
'I'd be happy to,' said the blonde.
So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of the Gold Coast when suddenly he was horrified!!
There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd.
With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde.
'What the heck are you doing here?' he demanded, 'I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo.'
'Yes, I know you did,' said the blonde,' but we had money left over --- so now we're going to Sea World.
Remmy
New member
I saw The Walking Dead version of Bad Lip Reading yesterday night, it was the first I'd heard of the channel, and I can highly recommend that one too, especially if you're a fan of the show
Excalabur50
Well-known member
After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was enough, as the social wouldn't buy them a bigger bed and they weren't strong enough to nick one. The husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
The Scouser said, 'I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me.'
'Trust me, it will do the job', said the doctor.
So off home he goes, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He holds it up to his ear and begins to count: '1, 2, 3, 4, 5,' at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand.
This procedure also works in Newcastle, Barnsley, Sheffield, parts of Stoke on Trent and anywhere in Australia.
The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
The Scouser said, 'I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me.'
'Trust me, it will do the job', said the doctor.
So off home he goes, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He holds it up to his ear and begins to count: '1, 2, 3, 4, 5,' at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand.
This procedure also works in Newcastle, Barnsley, Sheffield, parts of Stoke on Trent and anywhere in Australia.
Permafrost
Compo Whore
hahahaha
jamesriley94
New member
Excalabur50
Well-known member
That's all right jamesriley94 it also says anywhere in Australia...............
jamesriley94
New member
Excalabur50
Well-known member
lol, I'm only joking dude.
Fair few parts are a little on the grim side
Oh it's ok I knew you were having a laugh and truth to tell we have our fair share of Deliverance moments down here too let me tell you del la de ded ded ded de del
SuB
The Webmaster
lol, I'm only joking dude.
Fair few parts are a little on the grim side
a little?
TBF, and I say this as a resident of Sheffield, given some of the things that breed in the city it could do with happening.
Boonstick
New member
This is what people in my area get up to... Apparently... FFS 
http://www.lbc.co.uk/man-who-tried-to-have-sex-with-cow-and-sheep-warned-he-may-face-jail-85265
http://www.lbc.co.uk/man-who-tried-to-have-sex-with-cow-and-sheep-warned-he-may-face-jail-85265
