FML Thread

Where does this thread belong?

  • Humour

    Votes: 2 20.0%
  • Serious discussion

    Votes: 5 50.0%
  • General off-topic

    Votes: 3 30.0%

  • Total voters
    10
  • Poll closed .
Yeah it starts to get old real fast, A few months ago I had to say to this 1 guy -

"I am your girlfriends personal trainer and we are friends, That is it, I do not ever go near women that are in relationships, At all, Ever, Get it into your thick Cro-Magnon head".

He also tried to swing for me afterwards so I bitch slapped him to humiliate him, It was a real CRACK type sound that left finger prints on his face, There's nothing worse than being bitch slapped by another man, It's a complete confidence killer ^_^





I suppose but it gets old so fast, I just want to do my job, Talk to friends then go home without some little boy trying to start something.


Yeah it's a compliment. You're just so good looking Dicey boo :wub:
 
So when I see other guys doing crap it's not because I don't trust my girlfriend it's because I don't trust other guys.

Yup. I made my ex understand that perfectly well. She said no, I am being a D word.

Then about two months in I was down at my mother's and this guy turns up at her house. She says "Sorry I didn't answer the door I was in the shower" he makes some smutty line about "I wish I was in there with you".

Point proven, case over. At some point, no matter how long your girl has known a guy his penis is going to do the talking. Women don't get it, but that's because they don't have a willy.

I'd take it as a compliment if I were you. Means he reckons you're good enough to take his girl ^_^

Nope he just has a willy. That is all you need to qualify to being a threat.
 
Yup. I made my ex understand that perfectly well. She said no, I am being a D word.

Then about two months in I was down at my mother's and this guy turns up at her house. She says "Sorry I didn't answer the door I was in the shower" he makes some smutty line about "I wish I was in there with you".

Point proven, case over. At some point, no matter how long your girl has known a guy his penis is going to do the talking. Women don't get it, but that's because they don't have a willy.

Nope he just has a willy. That is all you need to qualify to being a threat.


Thing is I never and I mean NEVER flirt, Touch, Give any type of compliment or even act in any way threatening, I keep it very professional and if I'm friends with the woman and she has a boyfriend/husband I keep it friendly, No touching, Flirting, Inappropriate comments etc...


I think it goes beyond just "having a willy" made me spit coffee out with that one thanks bud :p I think it also has to do with some men being extremely insecure.
 
Thing is I never and I mean NEVER flirt, Touch, Give any type of compliment or even act in any way threatening, I keep it very professional and if I'm friends with the woman and she has a boyfriend/husband I keep it friendly, No touching, Flirting, Inappropriate comments etc...


I think it goes beyond just "having a willy" made me spit coffee out with that one thanks bud :p I think it also has to do with some men being extremely insecure.

It's nothing to do with being insecure dude. I bet you if you were around a woman for long enough and got friendly enough something would happen. If not? then you are the only man I have ever met who is like that. I'm autistic, so I know the rules, but I gotta admit if I spent long enough with another woman at some point I would have some sort of feeling. It's perfectly normal.

Also, women (as you perfectly know) are not the most reliable creatures on earth either.
 
I'm not saying FML I just need to vent this.

I went away to my mother's for about 8 days to paint and sort out her spare room. Upon return I noticed this..

V7F3wbq.jpg


Then I turned around and saw this.

9RUhwnA.jpg


I left a note in their pigeon hole this morning (same waynes who tried to switch my leccy then ignored all of the hassle they caused) but they've chosen to ignore that also.

I've called housing, who say contact the landlord (but I can't because she ignores everything I send her) and I called Social Services who said they couldn't help, so I called my social worker who at first said he couldn't do anything either. Then I phoned back Social Services who then phoned said social worker and forced him into getting involved.

He will now contact Environmental Services who will then find my landlady (wherever she is hiding) and then start fining her. The last time I got half way through it all (you need to send recorded letters with a deadline etc) she ignored it and I took and overdose so by the time I was back on my feet ES closed the case FFS. I was too ill to start it all again, so I will leave that to my social worker.

Nightmare. I can't wait for it to be over tbh. The boiler cupboard ceiling has already collapsed (the damp is around the outside of it) so I am just waiting for the ceiling to come down. I already fixed a large hole in it when I moved in, and painted it all. Now it stinks and looks like shat.
 
Think this belongs here. To preface things, I'm a registered healthcare professional for a rather large national chain, working in one of their supermarket branches. Was doing the late shifts most of last week and end up having to help out this rather nice young lady. So far, so every day, usually have to do it quite often.

Things get different when this young lady comes back near the end of the week and asks my colleague if she could speak to me. First question from her was not an expected health question but a "are you seeing anyone?" No, no I was not, have not been for best part of a decade. Also not had anyone ask since high school where folk did it to mess with you.

Somehow between her being this obvious, suggesting going out for drinks and everything else, I still manage to screw it all up. Got too concerned about the power dynamic between care giver and "patient" (because the job can sometimes have they sorts of implications) and thought that getting involved, even just with drinks, with someone I've had consultations with could end up throwing me in front of a fitness to practice hearing. It was only later that I found out that those fears were unfounded and I'd have been in the clear.
Just to make things even worse, I now feel bad for her and how hard she must have worked to build up the courage to ask me and for no good reason, I've turned her down.
 
Think this belongs here. To preface things, I'm a registered healthcare professional for a rather large national chain, working in one of their supermarket branches. Was doing the late shifts most of last week and end up having to help out this rather nice young lady. So far, so every day, usually have to do it quite often.

Things get different when this young lady comes back near the end of the week and asks my colleague if she could speak to me. First question from her was not an expected health question but a "are you seeing anyone?" No, no I was not, have not been for best part of a decade. Also not had anyone ask since high school where folk did it to mess with you.

Somehow between her being this obvious, suggesting going out for drinks and everything else, I still manage to screw it all up. Got too concerned about the power dynamic between care giver and "patient" (because the job can sometimes have they sorts of implications) and thought that getting involved, even just with drinks, with someone I've had consultations with could end up throwing me in front of a fitness to practice hearing. It was only later that I found out that those fears were unfounded and I'd have been in the clear.
Just to make things even worse, I now feel bad for her and how hard she must have worked to build up the courage to ask me and for no good reason, I've turned her down.

Man up, find her number and accept the offer she made. Never too late. :) She had the guts to ask you out means that she won't be moving on to the next guy so quickly. Even a simple text before a call can get things moving. Good luck! and go for it before its too late!
 
haha that is what happens every time a woman shows interest in me. Because of my autism they literally have to blow a trumpet and smash a gong :D

Mind you a lot of it came from an incident that happened when I was 15. Not really spoke about it before, but it caused me long term damage I guess. When I was about 12 I was going out with this girl. Three years after we broke up we were over the park on a bench alone and I misread the signals and went in to kiss her. She flipped out and her brother (who was in his 20s) beat the out of me. I never quite understood what had happened. I mean, all I did was try it on she could have easily just knocked me back.

Then when I was in my 20s I found out why it happened. Well, sort of any way.. Basically there was this girl, her younger sister and their much older brother. Well their father was a nonse, and had pretty much nonsed all of his kids. So all of them, including an older sister that had moved out. That is why they were housed there in the first place, to hide the old b*****d from being lynched. So I guess that me trying it on with his sister must have hit a raw nerve. Any way, in the end (just before I left for the USA) the eldest daughter (who I never met) brought her grand kids over and, well, you guessed it, he fiddled with his grandson. Who then told his mother, so he committed suicide before the police could come and get him.

So it all finally made sense. Oddly enough the guy who beat me up actually went on to murder some one for saying something bad about a young girl.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/4762608.stm

So I guess in ways I was lucky. At least I am still here.

I blame the mother.
 
haha that is what happens every time a woman shows interest in me. Because of my autism they literally have to blow a trumpet and smash a gong :D.


Your autism can't take all the blame for that one, In general men aren't as receptive or alert to these things as women.
 
Man up, find her number and accept the offer she made. Never too late. :) She had the guts to ask you out means that she won't be moving on to the next guy so quickly. Even a simple text before a call can get things moving. Good luck! and go for it before its too late!

Believe me, been trying to find out but you underestimate how much I (insert sweary word) up. No number or even name to work with. Only good thing is it is a major supermarket in the middle of town so expecting if nothing else she will be back in soonish and to go from there.

Is it strange to say that her having the balls to ask me instead of me asking her makes her more attractive?

haha that is what happens every time a woman shows interest in me. Because of my autism they literally have to blow a trumpet and smash a gong :D

This felt very much a trumpet and gong moment because I'm the same, hints just do not work.
 
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Your autism can't take all the blame for that one, In general men aren't as receptive or alert to these things as women.

No dude seriously when I say blow a trumpet ETC I mean it. Like a whole damn marching band carrying a banner saying "hey this chick likes you".

I don't think it is too late, btw. Just be honest with her and tell her you had no idea she liked you.

If she liked you before she will like you even more now you knocked her back. Unless she's some old ripper who likes everything with a penis.
 
Is it strange to say that her having the balls to ask me instead of me asking her makes her more attractive?

Nope because you know it can be something real, not a rebound or similar.

No dude seriously when I say blow a trumpet ETC I mean it. Like a whole damn marching band carrying a banner saying "hey this chick likes you".

I don't think it is too late, btw. Just be honest with her and tell her you had no idea she liked you.

If she liked you before she will like you even more now you knocked her back. Unless she's some old ripper who likes everything with a penis.

Not quite sure that comment was necessary but oh well.

Good luck finding her though. hopefully you manage to see her and speak your mind :)
 
Believe me, been trying to find out but you underestimate how much I (insert sweary word) up. No number or even name to work with. Only good thing is it is a major supermarket in the middle of town so expecting if nothing else she will be back in soonish and to go from there.

Is it strange to say that her having the balls to ask me instead of me asking her makes her more attractive?



This felt very much a trumpet and gong moment because I'm the same, hints just do not work.


Go find her and ask her out, Just tell her you were nervous at first.
 
Not quite sure that comment was necessary but oh well.

Good luck finding her though. hopefully you manage to see her and speak your mind :)

It could be considering I make supplies of emergency contraception as part of my living. You see that sort of thing on occasion.
Either way, thanks for the encouragement, still feel like a bit of a bell end but gotta have hope she hasn't been scared off completely.
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Go find her and ask her out, Just tell her you were nervous at first.

The problem is finding her again. The asking is not going to be a problem for once
 
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aha. Yeah always a little difficult to tell with text. Gets interpreted so many different ways when no emotion is involved.

You can usually tell from my choice of words. Hardest part of the English language, apparently. I mean dang, even I struggle at times :D
 
I need a dictionary for half of the slang and choice of words you use. Much of it is lost on me.

hahaha same here :D I constantly have to look up new words man !

Imagine my utter shock when "Netflix and chill" did not mean "Lay on the bed with some chips and watch Netflix". So like a wally I posted on Facebook "Netflix and chill" and every one thought I had a new girlfriend ffs.
 
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