Daily Idiot Log

J

Jaster

New member
Working in tech support, I'm sure many of you are aware that quite alot of the people who you deal with on a regular basis, well basically, are lucky if they can dress themselves in the morning, let alone should be allowed near a PC or laptop, and these people should not be allowed within the innards of anything electrical.

I get idiot questions everyday, some of the best include people getting in there bath with a laptop to "A camel chewed through my adapter cable" (that was a guy in Norfolk, if it was in Egypt I wouldn't have batted an eye).

So why the thread. I'm sure many of you deal with these people everyday. Whenever you have a "Special" encounter please post here, it gives us something to laugh at, and its also a place to vent your frustrations.

I'll start the ball rolling. We had an order for a socket 939, nforce 4 board, we shipped the product, then I get this email this morning

"Hi,

The motherboard you sent isn't the one I ordered

You sent me an nForce, I ordered an nforce, I could have got an nForce at half this price.

Can I exchange it for the nForce."

We shipped him the exact board he ordered.....any idea's...I think the guy might have been sniffing glue whilst injecting crack and washing it all down with windolene.
 
his name was very very english...not far off John Smith...so I'm reconing some mental problem....or drug addiction...
 
From my Helpdeesk days (seems so long ago :p)

Caller: My PC won't connect

My Mate: Have you rebooted it?

Caller: Rebooted what...what's reboot?

My Mate: Turned it off and back on again....and it's the terminal...should have WYSE on it

Caller: Ahh the processor...what do you mean turn it off?

My Mate: Ya know, pressed the power button till the pretty lights go off...

Caller: Power button?

My Mate: Yeah the power. Look, how about turning it off at the power socket?

Caller: Power socket?

My Mate: Yeah ya know the socket at the wall...?

Caller: Power at the wall?

My Mate: It's the thing in the wall with three holes that you don't put your fingers into...

Caller: Ooooh the power socket

Me (on another call, pressing mute): mfghtggjhfgkjfk hahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHA

*Whole helpdesk pauses and looks at me*

:D:D
 
hahahaha...bloody simpletons....a couple of weeks ago I offered the same solution to a guy and he said "I've misplaced the manual, and come to think of it I don't think it came with a reboot, I think thats curry's policy"...we now have an office policy that if we have a good one we pass it on so that more then one person can live through the story we call it our MVP (Moron Valuation Practice)...we even tell customers "Let me put you through to our MVP specialist"...
 
had a "which way up do i put the CD?" last week

someone i work with once had someone really angry because his USB modem from us had blown up upon being plugged in. the guy pointed out that USB doesnt carry enough power to do that:

'usb?'

'yea the little flat connector?'

'oooh like the american thing? I chopped that off and put a UK plug on instead'

yep, 240v will pop a modem mate
 
name='llwyd' said:
had a "which way up do i put the cd?" last week

someone i work with once had someone really angry because his usb modem from us had blown up upon being plugged in. The guy pointed out that usb doesnt carry enough power to do that:

'usb?'

'yea the little flat connector?'

'oooh like the american thing? I chopped that off and put a uk plug on instead'

yep, 240v will pop a modem mate
Click to expand...

lol
 
Hahahaha LOL:rollingla:whack:

name='Jaster' said:
Working in tech support, I'm sure many of you are aware that quite alot of the people who you deal with on a regular basis, well basically, are lucky if they can dress themselves in the morning, let alone should be allowed near a PC or laptop, and these people should not be allowed within the innards of anything electrical.

I get idiot questions everyday, some of the best include people getting in there bath with a laptop to "A camel chewed through my adapter cable" (that was a guy in Norfolk, if it was in Egypt I wouldn't have batted an eye).

So why the thread. I'm sure many of you deal with these people everyday. Whenever you have a "Special" encounter please post here, it gives us something to laugh at, and its also a place to vent your frustrations.

I'll start the ball rolling. We had an order for a socket 939, nforce 4 board, we shipped the product, then I get this email this morning

"Hi,

The motherboard you sent isn't the one I ordered

You sent me an nForce, I ordered an nforce, I could have got an nForce at half this price.

Can I exchange it for the nForce."

We shipped him the exact board he ordered.....any idea's...I think the guy might have been sniffing glue whilst injecting crack and washing it all down with windolene.
Click to expand...
 
Oh my no wonder the worlds in such at state LOl

name='llwyd' said:
had a "which way up do i put the CD?" last week

someone i work with once had someone really angry because his USB modem from us had blown up upon being plugged in. the guy pointed out that USB doesnt carry enough power to do that:

'usb?'

'yea the little flat connector?'

'oooh like the american thing? I chopped that off and put a UK plug on instead'

yep, 240v will pop a modem mate
Click to expand...
 
name='llwyd' said:
had a "which way up do i put the CD?" last week

someone i work with once had someone really angry because his USB modem from us had blown up upon being plugged in. the guy pointed out that USB doesnt carry enough power to do that:

'usb?'

'yea the little flat connector?'

'oooh like the american thing? I chopped that off and put a UK plug on instead'

yep, 240v will pop a modem mate
Click to expand...
ROFL that is the funniest thing I've heard in a long time - thanks for the share Llwyd. How's the new job going btw?
 
name='Jaster' said:
I'll start the ball rolling. We had an order for a socket 939, nforce 4 board, we shipped the product, then I get this email this morning

"Hi,

The motherboard you sent isn't the one I ordered

You sent me an nForce, I ordered an nforce, I could have got an nForce at half this price.

Can I exchange it for the nForce."

We shipped him the exact board he ordered.....any idea's...I think the guy might have been sniffing glue whilst injecting crack and washing it all down with windolene.
Click to expand...

Made me lol.. So he thought it was the wrong motherboard because it had a capital F? xD
 
hahaahahahahaha...its not tech support anymore its guiding idiots to survive....shaping up to be a funny thread :D...
 
name='Brooksie' said:
Made me lol.. So he thought it was the wrong motherboard because it had a capital F? xD
Click to expand...

ahhh...well done brooksie...does the capital F actually make any difference ?? Brooksie is now our official moron interpreter..
 
I got a call yesterday from one of my clients, who was saying that the multifunction printer/scanner/copier/fax that I sold him wasn't working and I had to listen to him ranting for 5 minutes. I asked him what the problem was and he said that he couldn't send faxes. The multifunction was receiving them OK but when he tried to send, it failed every time.

So I started to talk him through the process of sending a fax. I told him to insert the document on the scanner bed - done. Then I told him to press the fax mode button - done. Next I told him to dial in the recipients number and press the big start button - done. He said he could hear the ringing tone, then a few squeeks and then the line went to the engaged tone. The fax never transmitted.

I thought it may have been a problem with the recipients fax and/or line, so I got him to send one to me, my fax picked up the call, but then terminated it with no fax transmitted. At this point, I thought that the client had been into the settings on the multifunction and messing around trying to fix the problem himself. So I told him I would call round and have a look.

When I got there, I tried sending a fax and it went first time. I called him into the room and told him but he looked at me as if I was blagging him. So I asked him to show me how he was doing it. It turned out that he was using the frigging cordless phone to dial the fax number, instead of the multifunction's dialer, and then pressing start on the multifunction. He had that stupid, sheepish look that tradesmen all over the world know, the one that says 'OK you know best, but don't expect me to admit it'.:D Needless to say, I did charge a call out for it, and it gave me a chuckle too:rolleyes:
 
one a couple of weeks back I had. We had a stock descrepancy some idiot in the warehouse had stocked 5 q6600 in the q6700 section. We cant get the q6700 anymore but a lady had ordered one. I was given the task of ringing her up to explain. In the end she was happy with it being swapped out to a q6600. A couple of days later she phoned asking for me. I was on lunch, came back and was told to ring her. After more then 30 mins on the phone and her cursing me saying that I'd sold her a faulty cpu, then it changed from faulty to "my son said its a non standard cpu, and he knows computers" after managing to calm her down, and believe me I could feel my grey hairs multiplying every second I was on the phone, I asked who'd give her the advice on buying the q6700, she said her son, I then got down to the gritty of it, she passed me over to her son. He was 13 years old at the very oldest, he told me that the cpu had no pins on it, and that the original one had, I'll leave you to fill in the blanks.

After nearly 1 and a hlaf hours of being swore at, called every name under the son, accused of being a homosexual (in a bad way) and being asked for my manager on several occasions (and believe me Im second in command, and alot more patient then the owner) I then had to explain that not all intel cpus are the same socket type. It went back to the mum, she then said that its our responsibiity to advertise this correctly, my boss walks in, sees that im still on the phone to this woman and aks to be put over, i put her over to the boss heres what i recall of the conversation from my boss's side

Boss:"Hi, I'm **** the owner of this establishment, I hear that youve purchased the wrong kind of CPU and that you have been accusing and very abusive to one of my staff members"

Womans response

Boss "Well its quite obvious that your son should not be messing arround with electrical components, and to be honest it says alot about your parental abilities letting him mess around with things he has little knowledge of"

Womans Response

Boss " well my sons very knowledgeable in the kitchen but i wouldn't let him cook with a bottle of bleach jut because he recons its fine"

woman shouting at him wildly

boss " you have 2 options, fight this through citizens advice, or apologie to my staff member and we'll send you a new motherboard which we advise you get fitted by your local pc shop"

woman shouting again

boss "please note we record all phone conversations"

silent pause

boss to me "pick up line 2"

woman "sorry.....can I be put back onto *** (the boss)"

My boss then charged her £160 for a new mobo that you can buy anywhere for £25 ..... lesson....dont **** with someone who's serving you...It does prove that I have more patience then my boss...but he is the master at these mental chess games.....no morals...hes the derek trotter of the PC industry :D
 
one from Tiny back in 1997. I was just witnessing this cos they had a deal on a P3 gaming rig that you couldn't build for what they were charging.

Guy : "I was told to bring this back in because its not powering up"

tiny worker "OK let me take it to our diagnostic table"

10 mins later

tiny worker "sir has anyone else had access to this PC"

Guy " Yeah, one of my old work colleagues had a look at it for me"

tiny worker just turns the pc round on the desk to the guy, the case had nothing in it except for the PSU. I nearley wet myself, how do you not notice that theres nothing to connect it up to.
 
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