Mr. Smith
New member
Saw this on XS and had to repost - made me laugh at work anyways...
Thinking back on his life he remembers that one of his fondest memories was going hunting with his father as a child.
Bill hasn't been hunting in years, but decides to spend his golden years doing something he loves so he gets his hunting license, a gun, and heads to the North West Territories for a bear hunting trip.
Within a short time Bill spots a Brown Bear. He gets the bear into his sites and "BANG" hits the bear on the first try and watches him drop.
Just as Bill is preparing to haul the bear out of the bush he feels a tap on his shoulder.
He turns around, and standing there is a larger, disgruntled looking Black Bear.
The bear says to Bill "That there was my cousin that you shot. Either I'm going to maul you to death or you have to have sex with me."
Bill thinks about his options and decides he'd much rather live than be mauled to death, so he agrees to have sex with the bear.
The bear is not gentle and when Bill returns home it takes him two days of recovery before he can even sit down. Feeling angry and victimized Bill vows revenge and when he is fully rested heads back out into the bush.
Bill tracks down the Black Bear, aims and "BANG" the Black Bear drops dead.
Just as Bill begins to grin in satisfaction he feels a tap on his shoulder. This time it's an even bigger, angry looking Grizzly Bear.
The Grizzly Bear says "That chap was my cousin. Now either I maul you to death or you have to have rough sex with me."
Bill weighs his options again and although he doesn't like the idea he agrees to have rough sex with the Grizzly Bear to save his life.
The Grizzly Bear is very rough and this time it takes Bill two weeks of recovery before he can sit down. Enraged Bill vows to get revenge and when he is mentally prepared he heads back out to the bush to find the Grizzly Bear.
Bill finds the Grizzly Bear, aims and "BANG!" the Grizzly drops dead.
Bill's just about to start his victory dance when he feels a tap on his shoulder.
He turns around to find an even bigger, angrier and uglier Polar Bear starring at him.
The Polar Bear says "Let's face it Bill, you don't really come out here for the hunting do you?"
Thinking back on his life he remembers that one of his fondest memories was going hunting with his father as a child.
Bill hasn't been hunting in years, but decides to spend his golden years doing something he loves so he gets his hunting license, a gun, and heads to the North West Territories for a bear hunting trip.
Within a short time Bill spots a Brown Bear. He gets the bear into his sites and "BANG" hits the bear on the first try and watches him drop.
Just as Bill is preparing to haul the bear out of the bush he feels a tap on his shoulder.
He turns around, and standing there is a larger, disgruntled looking Black Bear.
The bear says to Bill "That there was my cousin that you shot. Either I'm going to maul you to death or you have to have sex with me."
Bill thinks about his options and decides he'd much rather live than be mauled to death, so he agrees to have sex with the bear.
The bear is not gentle and when Bill returns home it takes him two days of recovery before he can even sit down. Feeling angry and victimized Bill vows revenge and when he is fully rested heads back out into the bush.
Bill tracks down the Black Bear, aims and "BANG" the Black Bear drops dead.
Just as Bill begins to grin in satisfaction he feels a tap on his shoulder. This time it's an even bigger, angry looking Grizzly Bear.
The Grizzly Bear says "That chap was my cousin. Now either I maul you to death or you have to have rough sex with me."
Bill weighs his options again and although he doesn't like the idea he agrees to have rough sex with the Grizzly Bear to save his life.
The Grizzly Bear is very rough and this time it takes Bill two weeks of recovery before he can sit down. Enraged Bill vows to get revenge and when he is mentally prepared he heads back out to the bush to find the Grizzly Bear.
Bill finds the Grizzly Bear, aims and "BANG!" the Grizzly drops dead.
Bill's just about to start his victory dance when he feels a tap on his shoulder.
He turns around to find an even bigger, angrier and uglier Polar Bear starring at him.
The Polar Bear says "Let's face it Bill, you don't really come out here for the hunting do you?"
