Dicehunter
Resident Newb
Just got back from seeing Avengers Endgame, Without giving away anything, Epic, Absolutely epic ! Myself included the whole theatre cheered at multiple parts in the film, Absolutely fantastic.
Small talk & Chit chat
- Thread starter Wraith
- Start date
NeverBackDown
AMD Enthusiast
Watched it yesterday. I'm not in the same boat you are in on your opinion of the movie. Hard to go into detail without spoilers.
trawetSluaP
Member
Unfortunately, regardless of how well you educate someone it won't stop them being a ing idiot...
I actually found it no different to the rest of them. Only went because we were a big group going for a meal later.
Felt like so many predictable moments. I guess its a cultural thing, because the audience comments at our cinema in Norway was pretty much, "more of the same thing". It was ok, but nothing that really left me speechless or exhilarated.
I only pray that all these movies flooding cinema will finally end, and we can start to see some decent unique ones return.
Dicehunter
Resident Newb
What did it for me was the final battle, That was immense, There were a lot of plot holes, Unanswered questions, Terrible character decisions but overall very entertaining, It did "feel" a little rushed though.
NeverBackDown
AMD Enthusiast
Well your biased because you don't like any or the Marvel stuff. So obviously you won't like this one. Not sure what you expected lol
It definitely was not more of the same thing. If you are a fan of it and understood the 200+ Easter eggs you'd definitely have a different opinion and emotional attachment.
AlienALX
Well-known member
Gosh I feel so stupid....
So my only complaint about my Asus Centurion headset was its pathetic output. Imagine my surprise when I looked at it today and spotted a button called "amp". You press it and immediately the output sound doubles in volume. lmao. I also found out that surround wasn't working, because it also has a button called "7.1".
Lesson learned kids, when you dump £130 on a headset make sure you at least look at it lol.
So my only complaint about my Asus Centurion headset was its pathetic output. Imagine my surprise when I looked at it today and spotted a button called "amp". You press it and immediately the output sound doubles in volume. lmao. I also found out that surround wasn't working, because it also has a button called "7.1".
Lesson learned kids, when you dump £130 on a headset make sure you at least look at it lol.
Dark NighT
New member
And read the manual 
Facepalm of the day
AlienALX
Well-known member
I know, I know.....
I've had a few recently.
I only got it at first for Fallout 4 and the surround seemed kinda weird. Mostly because it was some pseudo sort of arrangement.
I mean I must have looked at the control box at least once *scratches head*
I dunno. I know I had a lot on my mind back then.
On the plus side Metro Exodus has proper Dolby and I am very very impressed.
And read the manual
If you saw the manual you'd understand why I just tossed it in the drawer. It's huge. That said I did kinda expect it to just work.
AlienALX
Well-known member
Wow. Just. Wow. Karma.....
OK, so I am not a Buddhist. Far from it. However, I've always believed in Karma as "What goes around.....". I worked with a Buddhist guy for about four months. One of the nicest, calmest guys I've ever met. Turns out he was an ex Navy Seal... Any way, he taught me a lot about Karma and the balance of...
So get this right. I move out of my old property and escaped from the worst landlady ever. She is truly cold, and truly nasty. The other day I am sitting here minding my own business and I get an email from a deposit holding scheme. Let me explain what that is, and why it is so important. The law states that in the U.K if you are letting out a property and taking a deposit on it that you *must* (it's not a choice) place the cash from the deposit into a govt scheme that protects it and stops the landlord/lady keeping it from you after you move out. However, it is in ways like Paypal, and you can raise/drop disputes.
So yeah, with that in mind... I get this email telling me to create an account and login, and I can have my deposit of £548 back. I was expecting her to fight, this seemed far too easy ! however I was aware of these schemes so I signed up. Now I am reading through all of what it says, then I get to the bottom where the accept/reject button is right.
*** damage to flat and back rent. Deductions £548, total offered £0***.
OK, so she is trying to basically steal my deposit on two weak lies.
Firstly let me cover "damage" to her flat. There was none, it was simply a s**t hole. Secondly let's cover back rent.. She sent me a text demanding (not asking) for £600 a month up from £548. I spoke to my mum, and she offered to pay the extra rent *IF* she had the place decorated and fixed to prevent the damp and mould. She ignored my reply. I then text messaged her daily asking the same question... She eventually replied "Court.Bailiff.Eviction".
We never said another word, not even to this day. The law states that if you are increasing the rent *you must* send a notarised letter and keep the postage (RMSD) receipt with the post code on. So she can whistle there too. Back rent my back passage.
So I am pretty angry by now. I hold off accepting or rejecting it and phone my support worker from the trust. She asks me for my permission for her to take over the case, I phone the deposit scheme and name her so she is allowed to do everything for me. Amazing. So then she emails me (the lady at the trust) asking me if I can go down there. Now I thought this was a bit weird, and tbh? I was worrying I had done something wrong in the flat and was going to get in trouble. When I arrived she asked me for the login details for the deposit thing, and I changed the password and basically handed it over to her.
She sits there digging through jargon and then I see her face light up. See, for the past three months this angel of a woman has been relentlessly battling my landlady. Not only is this woman my support worker, but she has legal training also.
Then she says "Andrew, what date did you move it?" I say "23rd Oct 2013". Then she smiled, and said that basically this deposit had not been paid into the scheme until Jan 2015. And, not only is that illegal but now she has arranged a lawyer to basically sue my ex landlady, and apparently it's a 100% guaranteed victory (no win no fee, so you know you won't lose as they won't waste their time) and, the end result for me is 2-3x my deposit. Now I know I am probably being mugged off, but I ain't got the cash to hire a lawyer and at the end of the day as long as someone rams something up her bum (my old landlady) I don't care. Plus hey, I get at least double the amount so over a grand.
That, my friends, is karma. You see, had she just given me back my deposit and not tried stealing from me to fix her flat then my support worker would have never seen the scheme pages, nor noticed that she did not protect my deposit until 14 months after I had moved in. And thus, she has now put herself into a very deep, large hole.
"Smithers, release the hounds !"
Doesn't matter how long it takes karma is coming. I don't have to lift a finger, they do it all for me.
Life is good.
OK, so I am not a Buddhist. Far from it. However, I've always believed in Karma as "What goes around.....". I worked with a Buddhist guy for about four months. One of the nicest, calmest guys I've ever met. Turns out he was an ex Navy Seal... Any way, he taught me a lot about Karma and the balance of...
So get this right. I move out of my old property and escaped from the worst landlady ever. She is truly cold, and truly nasty. The other day I am sitting here minding my own business and I get an email from a deposit holding scheme. Let me explain what that is, and why it is so important. The law states that in the U.K if you are letting out a property and taking a deposit on it that you *must* (it's not a choice) place the cash from the deposit into a govt scheme that protects it and stops the landlord/lady keeping it from you after you move out. However, it is in ways like Paypal, and you can raise/drop disputes.
So yeah, with that in mind... I get this email telling me to create an account and login, and I can have my deposit of £548 back. I was expecting her to fight, this seemed far too easy ! however I was aware of these schemes so I signed up. Now I am reading through all of what it says, then I get to the bottom where the accept/reject button is right.
*** damage to flat and back rent. Deductions £548, total offered £0***.
OK, so she is trying to basically steal my deposit on two weak lies.
Firstly let me cover "damage" to her flat. There was none, it was simply a s**t hole. Secondly let's cover back rent.. She sent me a text demanding (not asking) for £600 a month up from £548. I spoke to my mum, and she offered to pay the extra rent *IF* she had the place decorated and fixed to prevent the damp and mould. She ignored my reply. I then text messaged her daily asking the same question... She eventually replied "Court.Bailiff.Eviction".
We never said another word, not even to this day. The law states that if you are increasing the rent *you must* send a notarised letter and keep the postage (RMSD) receipt with the post code on. So she can whistle there too. Back rent my back passage.
So I am pretty angry by now. I hold off accepting or rejecting it and phone my support worker from the trust. She asks me for my permission for her to take over the case, I phone the deposit scheme and name her so she is allowed to do everything for me. Amazing. So then she emails me (the lady at the trust) asking me if I can go down there. Now I thought this was a bit weird, and tbh? I was worrying I had done something wrong in the flat and was going to get in trouble. When I arrived she asked me for the login details for the deposit thing, and I changed the password and basically handed it over to her.
She sits there digging through jargon and then I see her face light up. See, for the past three months this angel of a woman has been relentlessly battling my landlady. Not only is this woman my support worker, but she has legal training also.
Then she says "Andrew, what date did you move it?" I say "23rd Oct 2013". Then she smiled, and said that basically this deposit had not been paid into the scheme until Jan 2015. And, not only is that illegal but now she has arranged a lawyer to basically sue my ex landlady, and apparently it's a 100% guaranteed victory (no win no fee, so you know you won't lose as they won't waste their time) and, the end result for me is 2-3x my deposit. Now I know I am probably being mugged off, but I ain't got the cash to hire a lawyer and at the end of the day as long as someone rams something up her bum (my old landlady) I don't care. Plus hey, I get at least double the amount so over a grand.
That, my friends, is karma. You see, had she just given me back my deposit and not tried stealing from me to fix her flat then my support worker would have never seen the scheme pages, nor noticed that she did not protect my deposit until 14 months after I had moved in. And thus, she has now put herself into a very deep, large hole.
"Smithers, release the hounds !"
Doesn't matter how long it takes karma is coming. I don't have to lift a finger, they do it all for me.
Life is good.
Yeah without a doubt what goes around comes around. I guess people who always try to f others over will have far more people waiting for them to make the tiniest slip up to f them back. Though many landlords are literal scum, especially for students, they try to f them knowing they're usually too busy or naive to fight it, or thinking every student gets daddy to pay for things and doesn't care about their deposits. Always loved giving them a nasty shock by whipping out the portfolio of dated images from the day we moved in. That rule in every contract "Left in the standard you found it in" is pretty potent once you realise most short let landlords do the absolute bare minimum before people move in.
To be honest that stuff was small fry compared to one we had who always turned up without 24 hours notice. So we started ignoring him at the door, after reminding him of our legal & contractual right on past occasions. Cheeky fuk used his spare keys, we had to threaten to call the police. The guy would come and sit at the end of my bed while I was half asleep after a night out or whatever sometimes and try to talk to me about when we'd last cleaned. There'd be bongs out(luckily he didn't seem to know what they were or he would have had a legal right to get his s in a twist tbf) and alcohol everywhere and stuff and we'd be ed and it's like, obviously not last night you muppet, stop acting like a literal nonce. Not the the most settling relationship to have with the guy who owns your house, luckily he didn't come back till we were gone after that.
To be honest that stuff was small fry compared to one we had who always turned up without 24 hours notice. So we started ignoring him at the door, after reminding him of our legal & contractual right on past occasions. Cheeky fuk used his spare keys, we had to threaten to call the police. The guy would come and sit at the end of my bed while I was half asleep after a night out or whatever sometimes and try to talk to me about when we'd last cleaned. There'd be bongs out(luckily he didn't seem to know what they were or he would have had a legal right to get his s in a twist tbf) and alcohol everywhere and stuff and we'd be ed and it's like, obviously not last night you muppet, stop acting like a literal nonce. Not the the most settling relationship to have with the guy who owns your house, luckily he didn't come back till we were gone after that.
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AlienALX
Well-known member
You've pretty much summed her up perfectly there. Doesn't want to lift a finger or spend a penny, yet, wants to exert her will onto others. I noticed her playing that game pretty quickly. Not only has she screwed me over but she's refused to pay her building maintenance and took the guy who owns the flat above to court twice. First time she won, second time she lost. But that's, as you say, their nature. They think they can't lose, so keep on pushing until the world bites them back.
And that, I surmise, was her idea when she decided to keep my deposit. I guess she thought I would not fight her and just roll over. And now, due to that, it's bitten her on the arse. She is now in a lose lose situation, caused only by her trying to push her will onto me one last time.
My ex wife was the same. She actually reminded me a lot of my landlady. Cold, calculated and seemingly very intelligent. However, intelligence only carries you so far. In the 45 years I've been around I have come to realise that most very intelligent people have an Achilles heel, and that is that basically they let their arrogance push their ego to new extremes. To the point where basically they leave themselves wide open.
Again I will use my ex wife as an example here. Owned and ran Britain's most successful cat breeding business. She was the only woman in the UK to be breeding F2 Savannahs (not breeding together, but owned £300,000 worth of F1 Savannahs) Now when you consider that F2 Savannahs were in short supply (IE none apart from her) that left her as the EU's only holder of F2 kittens. The long and the short of it? she was getting upward of £15k per kitten. That made her very wealthy, and before long she was a millionaire. BMW X5 on the driveway, ex husband had a brand new Lexus, both parked outside a house just out of Sandbanks worth around £700k.
So what did she do? started an online forum and then basically went to war with every other breeder of cats in the UK. Narcissistic, arrogant, spiteful. Eventually she peed someone off enough that they did some poking and took a look at the deeds for the house she bought for £760k two years before. That person (she will never know who it was) found out that deep in the deeds it stated that because the land joined and merged with green belt that she was not allowed to have any animal pens, cages or enclosures on the property. Then they proceeded to grass her to Dorset county council who swiftly came around and put her out of business.
I still remember her talking about it like it were yesterday... "I can't believe some one would stab me in the back like that !".
What did she learn from it? nothing. Two years later she decided she did not need any medication, reverting back to her old tried and trusted self, which earned her a spot on the curb outside (I threw her out after one of her abusive tirades).
And you know what? I bet she's still out there somewhere now pushing her will onto others and making their lives a misery. And she had an IQ of 154. Makes you shudder to think really.
Edit. In case you were wondering how the story ended with my ex... Basically the recession happened at exactly the same time, and that coupled with the no animal breeding term meant that the house was sold for £450k.
Remember kids, always read the legal pack. She walked away with about £16k to show for all of it, and was then homeless.
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To be fair those meds can be skitty, I got put on anti-anxiety & anti-depressants after years moderating my sleep & sanity by "self medicating" (xanax, ket, weed, alcohol, anything to allow me to wind down at the end of the day, by that point I was taking them all daily, my end seemed imminent, I'd feared going to the doc it was a really last resort thing for me), they definitely change you, I couldn't remember what the real me was like by that point, I couldn't tell when I was being a or overly passive, I defaulted to being a all the time because really I was at my most fragile and a cold outer shell was an easy form of protection, and I felt I just needed to literally survive that part of my life and I'd be ok. It destroyed my relationship at the time, the lack of libido and everything else didn't help, I was still xan'd out all the time because that sertaline stuff just makes you way more anxious half the time to be honest, and she just didn't want all that weight and inconsistency in her life, I got that completely but still felt a little abandoned, I thought I was improving up until then, so it was only then I quit everything, even drinking, until I was sound of mind again. I spent months in near complete isolation just working in my shed, because sobriety & no meds & the period before left me unable to really connect with other people on any level. It was only really when I caught up with her again later, talked everything through in a clean state of mind, that I began to realise how I'd got into that mess, and what I needed to do to get out. We agreed it was never going to work again, but now I at least stopped feeling disconnected and alien to the rest of the world, and I wanted to start experiencing it again, and I shifted from my bitter & withdrawn state, which I guess lasted in total about 14 months, starting from being quite an enthusiastic & social person with the odd panic attack to being completely defined by & living my life around mitigating their impacts, through all of the stuff above, back to being a healthy functional human, and started meeting new people again, and soon started to realise how I'm far from alone in my experiences, and it just took finding someone else who'd dealt with similar battles to make a proper connection with.
Not saying I blame you for kicking her out, I know the toxic-ity spreads rapidly to other people when in that mindset and becomes suffocating, but I hope she had somewhere to go to, becoming homeless was always one of my greater fears during that time, and it's only because I had friends who knew what I could be like, and didn't judge me on my actions while ill, that I was offered a place to stay while I reset(My family moved back to Malta to care for elderly family at this point, but I still had to finish my studies in Birmingham). I know they would have lamented it sometimes at the time, but their gratitude was priceless and fundamental to my recovery, and they know I will always have their back if the tables turned.
Not saying I blame you for kicking her out, I know the toxic-ity spreads rapidly to other people when in that mindset and becomes suffocating, but I hope she had somewhere to go to, becoming homeless was always one of my greater fears during that time, and it's only because I had friends who knew what I could be like, and didn't judge me on my actions while ill, that I was offered a place to stay while I reset(My family moved back to Malta to care for elderly family at this point, but I still had to finish my studies in Birmingham). I know they would have lamented it sometimes at the time, but their gratitude was priceless and fundamental to my recovery, and they know I will always have their back if the tables turned.
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AlienALX
Well-known member
The thing was she refused to accept her official diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder and BPD, and insisted she was just aspie. The problem was? without the BP meds she was just angry, spiteful and both physically and mentally abusive. Controlling, domineering, just plain out nasty.
With the meds? she was kosher. The thing is? they made her feel a little woozy and gave her slight vertigo, which she refused to put up with. Instead she just went around the twist, and I could only handle it for so long. But yeah, on the meds? she was awesome. Off them? she really was one of the most spiteful, angry and vindictive people I have ever met. Like, she would do stuff to me that I had done indirectly to her as a way of "paying me back" like I did it all personally. Paranoid? corr, not half. That led to her physically abusing me for months. Believe me, I'm quite an angry person myself but I have set about reversing that and becoming totally passive. And with the correct meds I've finally done a decent job of that, as the mods here will attest to because I've not had any bans for about three years or more.
She was also an ex alcoholic, and had suffered a stroke due to said alcoholism. And as we know, alcoholism is the most selfish of afflictions, because the only one getting any entertainment or happiness out of it is the alcoholic. Every one around them suffers and pays the price for it. And that is how I used to be. It was everyone else. Never me, oh no, always them. The whole world was just this big bunch of w*****s who were all wrong.
And then I looked in the mirror and took a good hard look. I also thought about how my behaviour and actions affected others, then set on the course of getting proper help and proper medication (like you I also used to self medicate. Never with alcohol, but for rage and mania I used weed and for the long lasting depression I abused ecstasy. And when I say abused I mean, abused. Like 1/4 of skunk *a day* and when I was depressed two or three E a day. I stopped that when I was 21, I'd been at it since I was 13, then went med free for 6 years and basically trashed my whole life.
Now? I take quite a few meds. Seroquel (AKA quetiapine) is my new weed as it calms you down and makes you placid without the paranoia, Citalopram is my new E (Sertraline made me waaaay too hyper) and I take Pregabalin for my anxiety and fear, as well as my IBS (which apparently is common with people who are autistic, or suffer a nerve disorder).
And I am about as stable as I've ever been. I would never, ever go back because the only people who weren't having any happiness was my family. Not with me going mental and punching holes in the doors and walls, and driving them all crazy. Oh, and I no longer sit around telling them my desire to be dead.
My ex had all sorts of problems fella. Like, entire life problems. She handed her kids over willingly because she didn't really want them (to their father) then abused alcohol and people one by one all of her life. I met her third husband (who she was married to when I met her) and I can tell you he was a really nice guy. Very kind too. She treated him like dog doo.
I won't go into the specifics as believe me this forum is no place for it (just have a veeeeery open mind and not be surprised by anything, no matter how extreme) and I will leave it there.
With the meds? she was kosher. The thing is? they made her feel a little woozy and gave her slight vertigo, which she refused to put up with. Instead she just went around the twist, and I could only handle it for so long. But yeah, on the meds? she was awesome. Off them? she really was one of the most spiteful, angry and vindictive people I have ever met. Like, she would do stuff to me that I had done indirectly to her as a way of "paying me back" like I did it all personally. Paranoid? corr, not half. That led to her physically abusing me for months. Believe me, I'm quite an angry person myself but I have set about reversing that and becoming totally passive. And with the correct meds I've finally done a decent job of that, as the mods here will attest to because I've not had any bans for about three years or more.
She was also an ex alcoholic, and had suffered a stroke due to said alcoholism. And as we know, alcoholism is the most selfish of afflictions, because the only one getting any entertainment or happiness out of it is the alcoholic. Every one around them suffers and pays the price for it. And that is how I used to be. It was everyone else. Never me, oh no, always them. The whole world was just this big bunch of w*****s who were all wrong.
And then I looked in the mirror and took a good hard look. I also thought about how my behaviour and actions affected others, then set on the course of getting proper help and proper medication (like you I also used to self medicate. Never with alcohol, but for rage and mania I used weed and for the long lasting depression I abused ecstasy. And when I say abused I mean, abused. Like 1/4 of skunk *a day* and when I was depressed two or three E a day. I stopped that when I was 21, I'd been at it since I was 13, then went med free for 6 years and basically trashed my whole life.
Now? I take quite a few meds. Seroquel (AKA quetiapine) is my new weed as it calms you down and makes you placid without the paranoia, Citalopram is my new E (Sertraline made me waaaay too hyper) and I take Pregabalin for my anxiety and fear, as well as my IBS (which apparently is common with people who are autistic, or suffer a nerve disorder).
And I am about as stable as I've ever been. I would never, ever go back because the only people who weren't having any happiness was my family. Not with me going mental and punching holes in the doors and walls, and driving them all crazy. Oh, and I no longer sit around telling them my desire to be dead.
My ex had all sorts of problems fella. Like, entire life problems. She handed her kids over willingly because she didn't really want them (to their father) then abused alcohol and people one by one all of her life. I met her third husband (who she was married to when I met her) and I can tell you he was a really nice guy. Very kind too. She treated him like dog doo.
I won't go into the specifics as believe me this forum is no place for it (just have a veeeeery open mind and not be surprised by anything, no matter how extreme) and I will leave it there.
Oh yeah that's fair enough, yeah alcohol was never my main jive but my dads always struggled with that one, for me usually just something for when I'd built up too much tolerance to everything else, I was also introduced to weed at 13, psychedelics & MD at 17, was smoking grams of spice every day by 18 because of tolerance, then I got onto amphetamines, only speed in terms of daily use, after I ended up in hospital with pneumonia I decided to quit speed for good when I was 19 but ended up just taking E's a couple of times every week, but the comedowns were way too brutal so I moved onto modafanil for my uppers during the week and coke on weekends, I was really kidding myself by thinking it was any better than the last two, but by that point if I didn't take something to cancel out the skunk & ket I was having for breakfast every day to stop crying in bed all day I'd just do fa. Dealing with symptoms of anxiety is what led me to take the downers, dealing with the symptoms of the downers led me to smashing the uppers, and they just fed into my anxiety. If I start having trippy anxiety episodes again I'll definitely go back to the doc before the dealer, but I don't think that sertaline stuff was doing me any good even after months, part of my problem is that I'd bottle it up and never let anyone know I was struggling, then when I realised I didn't have to I let it define me and didn't try to deal with my toxic behaviour, it was only once I learned how to be open about things in a constructive way that I really started to tackle things I guess, and that's done me well enough for now. As well as being able to do work I find fulfilling, and not threating about whether I'll survive the month, and all of that stuff ofc, I know it's still a relatively fragile state in that aspect but I seem to be in a much more stable lifestyle now. It shocked me when I first saw my parents turn in this way after things went to s*** around the recession, obviously being 11yo it was abit confusing back then, but it explained a lot about myself when I grew up, and about the necessity for someone like me to have other minds around to remind me when I'm getting paranoid or erratic, early awareness has been quite useful.
I know this discussion might seem a bit heavy to some people but hearing how others dealt with stuff like this helped me a lot and friends who've hit similar issues recently always seem to appreciate me being open about it too so I try to avoid the mentality that these things are out of societal norm to discus incase it does help others.
I know this discussion might seem a bit heavy to some people but hearing how others dealt with stuff like this helped me a lot and friends who've hit similar issues recently always seem to appreciate me being open about it too so I try to avoid the mentality that these things are out of societal norm to discus incase it does help others.
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AlienALX
Well-known member
The days of not speaking about it are over. You'll get the odd t0sser complain from time to time but never usually here. We're all pretty open with each other (well, as far as internet chums go which IMO? is usually further than IRL which is nice).
But yeah, sorting yourself out is something many never even consider, let alone try man. They just blindly and arrogantly go through life making others unhappy, never thinking that the problem might just actually be with them.
It didn't help that I was already showing strong signs of autism, then my father died. Which left us in a not very nice area (understatement of the year) and vulnerable to real low life scum. Which took me on a path I should not have even had as an option.
Ah well. I can't solely blame others, but I am glad I got out of that place.
Ket seems to be a much more modern fascination tbh. I mean when I was in my teens if some one sold you ket they got stabbed. It wasn't wanted, and was usually passed off in clubs as E because it was cheap. But, I spoke to a few lads at the last BMX meet and they were telling me how they use it (they're in their 20s).
Acid? wish I'd never taken it. It made me ten times more ill in the long term than the laughs I had the first couple of times. Then it got real dark and really sinister and led to me cutting my wrist (note one, it bloody hurts !).
I figured I would be safe on weed and E, but the long term effects of weed are actually pretty bloody horrible. In the end as soon as I even smelled the stuff I would have a panic attack. I guess in ways I was lucky, because I didn't stop using because I actually wanted to. I'd have happily gone on red eyed forever and a day but it made me so ill in the end I had to pack it in overnight.
It was like being born again when I stopped.
But yeah, sorting yourself out is something many never even consider, let alone try man. They just blindly and arrogantly go through life making others unhappy, never thinking that the problem might just actually be with them.
It didn't help that I was already showing strong signs of autism, then my father died. Which left us in a not very nice area (understatement of the year) and vulnerable to real low life scum. Which took me on a path I should not have even had as an option.
Ah well. I can't solely blame others, but I am glad I got out of that place.
Ket seems to be a much more modern fascination tbh. I mean when I was in my teens if some one sold you ket they got stabbed. It wasn't wanted, and was usually passed off in clubs as E because it was cheap. But, I spoke to a few lads at the last BMX meet and they were telling me how they use it (they're in their 20s).
Acid? wish I'd never taken it. It made me ten times more ill in the long term than the laughs I had the first couple of times. Then it got real dark and really sinister and led to me cutting my wrist (note one, it bloody hurts !).
I figured I would be safe on weed and E, but the long term effects of weed are actually pretty bloody horrible. In the end as soon as I even smelled the stuff I would have a panic attack. I guess in ways I was lucky, because I didn't stop using because I actually wanted to. I'd have happily gone on red eyed forever and a day but it made me so ill in the end I had to pack it in overnight.
It was like being born again when I stopped.
Yeah I hear that a lot from older folks, when I was first given K I didn't get why anyone would put that in their system because the super low tolerance just sends you mongy, by the time I stopped to be fair I also didn't get it because my tolerance was so high there was no sweet spot and it'd just go straight to the mongy stages, but for a time when my tolerance was low enough that I could hit a sweet spot, it just took me to a place that felt more like "home" than any physical place, a floaty land where you could see the silver linings on all your clouds. I first started taking it to deal with grief and for a while it'd actually leave me in a mindset where I could do work after like a beast as if nothing was wrong, but ofc eventually you just have to deal with the loss and stop pretending it didn't happen and that's one thing I couldn't do at the time.
And yeah acid was something me and my friends did every month when we were 17/18 because it was funny and mind opening, up until the one time all our planning went wrong and before we knew it our friend had thrown himself in front of a car, luckily he couldn't tell it was going at about 5mph, but the whole arrest & hospitalisation put us all off for a while. We still would do the odd bit of shorter psychs though, DMT, 2cb, shrooms, but always in a locked quiet house. I don't really regret them, they were pretty eye opening, but I no longer see why I'd voluntarily put myself through those experiences again.
Weed though? Yeah for a "not addictive drug" that's a tough nut to crack, most things make you feel sick after time so the withdrawals become a price worth paying, but weed just always made me feel healthier. The whole no appetite, no sleep, crazy nightmares, ect things after you drop it is grim, but boy that feeling of energy again when you get past the first week is better than any stimulant, going sober after spending so many years working & living baked all the time felt like my mind was on overdrive, that's really what's kept me from going back to regular/non-social use. Some of my friends had the "sickening" you described and to be honest it left me quite jealous but I guess it helped me build some discipline in finding moderation that became all too valuable once I moved more into freelance style work.
And yeah acid was something me and my friends did every month when we were 17/18 because it was funny and mind opening, up until the one time all our planning went wrong and before we knew it our friend had thrown himself in front of a car, luckily he couldn't tell it was going at about 5mph, but the whole arrest & hospitalisation put us all off for a while. We still would do the odd bit of shorter psychs though, DMT, 2cb, shrooms, but always in a locked quiet house. I don't really regret them, they were pretty eye opening, but I no longer see why I'd voluntarily put myself through those experiences again.
Weed though? Yeah for a "not addictive drug" that's a tough nut to crack, most things make you feel sick after time so the withdrawals become a price worth paying, but weed just always made me feel healthier. The whole no appetite, no sleep, crazy nightmares, ect things after you drop it is grim, but boy that feeling of energy again when you get past the first week is better than any stimulant, going sober after spending so many years working & living baked all the time felt like my mind was on overdrive, that's really what's kept me from going back to regular/non-social use. Some of my friends had the "sickening" you described and to be honest it left me quite jealous but I guess it helped me build some discipline in finding moderation that became all too valuable once I moved more into freelance style work.
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AlienALX
Well-known member
Yeah the whole weed not being addictive thing always cracks me up. If you're angry and prone to freaking out and you find something that stops that and makes you feel warm and fuzzy how could that not be addictive?
I mean, maybe psychologically it isn't, but I tell you what when there wasn't any around and I was clucking I'd argue about that until blue in the face.
I was hopelessly addicted to that. Tbh without it and my teenage rage I'd probably be doing life. Being a hippy was much better than the person I was before. It just all turned bad really quickly. How much of that was down to my bipolar? Dunno. It must have played a part.
But yeah, there ain't a week go by where I don't wish I could roll up a big fat spliff and grab a naughty mag and be 15 again.
I mean, maybe psychologically it isn't, but I tell you what when there wasn't any around and I was clucking I'd argue about that until blue in the face.
I was hopelessly addicted to that. Tbh without it and my teenage rage I'd probably be doing life. Being a hippy was much better than the person I was before. It just all turned bad really quickly. How much of that was down to my bipolar? Dunno. It must have played a part.
But yeah, there ain't a week go by where I don't wish I could roll up a big fat spliff and grab a naughty mag and be 15 again.
