While I was driving down the A66 today, (going a little faster than I
should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other
side with a radar gun laying in wait.
The copper pulled me over,walked up to the car, and with that classic
patronising smirk,asked: "Runway too short?"
To which I replied, "I'm late for work."
To which he asked, "What do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And
just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to
two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side
to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch
the hole, until it's about 6 feet."
Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you
do with a six-foot arsehole?"
To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind
a bridge..."
Speeding ticket: £105.00
Penalty Points : 3
Court costs: £45
Look on copper's face: Priceless
should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other
side with a radar gun laying in wait.
The copper pulled me over,walked up to the car, and with that classic
patronising smirk,asked: "Runway too short?"
To which I replied, "I'm late for work."
To which he asked, "What do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And
just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to
two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side
to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch
the hole, until it's about 6 feet."
Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you
do with a six-foot arsehole?"
To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind
a bridge..."
Speeding ticket: £105.00
Penalty Points : 3
Court costs: £45
Look on copper's face: Priceless
