Arctic Ice
New member
Original Author:Xxoozero
9 Reasons To Hate Xmas
Those stupid car commercials
Who buys their wife a f***ing Lexus for Xmas? Only a guy who got caught shagging his secretary last weekend would pull something like that. No pussy is that good.
Relationships
Anyone who is over 25 and single will understand this; Xmas is the time of year your friends and family who are around your age and already married will always ask you when you are going to “meet that special someone”. f*** that, they are just trying to drag you into their misery. When they aren’t looking, piss all over their curtains.
Everything has to look like Xmas
Why is Santa outside the grocery store begging for change? No doubt Google will be festive as always this holiday season. Everywhere you go you will be reminded it’s Xmas. No one can escape the wicked reach of the evil hybrid Santa Clause /baby Jesus /consumerism Xmas spirit. Don’t let folks catch you without the festive spirit either, nothing is worse than being chased down by a mob of red and green clad over-sized elves all hyped up on the spirit of Saint Nick and a strong eggnog /rum mix.
We have heard all the Xmas music already
Why is it around this time of year the latest pop crazed band or singer has to release an album full of Xmas songs? You would think people would be sick of them by now, they are the same s**t every year. Everyone has heard them all before. The worst part is they run through your head for hours upon hours after you were unfortunate enough to catch one playing somewhere, making you want to rip your eardrums out with a spork from Taco Bell.
Santa Claus is a dirty lie
It is a fairy tail told to little kids to explain why they didn’t get everything they wanted, because most little kids are really rotten inside. The parents can just say “Oh, I guess you weren’t a good enough person to get that this year”, all the while covering for the fact that they were either too cheap or too slow to get them the latest fare from the world of trendy marketing.
Screw the baby Jesus
This is the worst time of the year to be an atheist. There is no escaping the religious overtones of this evil holiday. The propaganda is everywhere. It is biased in its very name. It was originally a pagan holiday, but nobody cares about that anymore. Some more religious folk will beat you senseless for even the very mention of that fact.
Xmas movies suck
The same plot, over and over again. Oh look, it’s Xmas, everyone is happy. Oh no, look, something is going to ruin Xmas. Wait, no, Xmas is saved! Sprinkle in a couple of out-of-work semi-recognizable actors and you got the plot for every Xmas movie or seasonable television show ever made.
Shopping is hell
Tis the season where otherwise peaceful soccer moms will kill you with their SUV’s over a parking spot ten feet closer to the entrance of the mall. Every place you go is packed with long lines and few cashiers. The roads are full of crazed shoppers trying to get through the stoplight five seconds quicker than everyone else. You are better off just starving in your basement until the new year.
One day, Sony will buy it all anyway
Yes, mark my words. The year will arrive when the PS15 can’t be produced in time for December 25th and Sony will immediately buy the rights to Xmas and move it to January 5th. To be fair, I think the Super Bowl will go before Xmas, but in the end, it’s all going to be for sale someday.
...................................................................................................................................................................
So true in many of those points!
Is anyone else fed up with crimbo already?
*If this is not allowed Im sorry and please remove*
9 Reasons To Hate Xmas
Those stupid car commercials
Who buys their wife a f***ing Lexus for Xmas? Only a guy who got caught shagging his secretary last weekend would pull something like that. No pussy is that good.
Relationships
Anyone who is over 25 and single will understand this; Xmas is the time of year your friends and family who are around your age and already married will always ask you when you are going to “meet that special someone”. f*** that, they are just trying to drag you into their misery. When they aren’t looking, piss all over their curtains.
Everything has to look like Xmas
Why is Santa outside the grocery store begging for change? No doubt Google will be festive as always this holiday season. Everywhere you go you will be reminded it’s Xmas. No one can escape the wicked reach of the evil hybrid Santa Clause /baby Jesus /consumerism Xmas spirit. Don’t let folks catch you without the festive spirit either, nothing is worse than being chased down by a mob of red and green clad over-sized elves all hyped up on the spirit of Saint Nick and a strong eggnog /rum mix.
We have heard all the Xmas music already
Why is it around this time of year the latest pop crazed band or singer has to release an album full of Xmas songs? You would think people would be sick of them by now, they are the same s**t every year. Everyone has heard them all before. The worst part is they run through your head for hours upon hours after you were unfortunate enough to catch one playing somewhere, making you want to rip your eardrums out with a spork from Taco Bell.
Santa Claus is a dirty lie
It is a fairy tail told to little kids to explain why they didn’t get everything they wanted, because most little kids are really rotten inside. The parents can just say “Oh, I guess you weren’t a good enough person to get that this year”, all the while covering for the fact that they were either too cheap or too slow to get them the latest fare from the world of trendy marketing.
Screw the baby Jesus
This is the worst time of the year to be an atheist. There is no escaping the religious overtones of this evil holiday. The propaganda is everywhere. It is biased in its very name. It was originally a pagan holiday, but nobody cares about that anymore. Some more religious folk will beat you senseless for even the very mention of that fact.
Xmas movies suck
The same plot, over and over again. Oh look, it’s Xmas, everyone is happy. Oh no, look, something is going to ruin Xmas. Wait, no, Xmas is saved! Sprinkle in a couple of out-of-work semi-recognizable actors and you got the plot for every Xmas movie or seasonable television show ever made.
Shopping is hell
Tis the season where otherwise peaceful soccer moms will kill you with their SUV’s over a parking spot ten feet closer to the entrance of the mall. Every place you go is packed with long lines and few cashiers. The roads are full of crazed shoppers trying to get through the stoplight five seconds quicker than everyone else. You are better off just starving in your basement until the new year.
One day, Sony will buy it all anyway
Yes, mark my words. The year will arrive when the PS15 can’t be produced in time for December 25th and Sony will immediately buy the rights to Xmas and move it to January 5th. To be fair, I think the Super Bowl will go before Xmas, but in the end, it’s all going to be for sale someday.
...................................................................................................................................................................
So true in many of those points!
Is anyone else fed up with crimbo already?
*If this is not allowed Im sorry and please remove*
