AlienALX
Well-known member
That's what most people do. It's not about not being yourself, it's about questioning whether what you are doing is the right thing and becoming a better version of yourself. That's how a person's personality evolves. I don't expect you to become a different human being in a week, but if you recognize issues, why not work on them? Things may only change slowly or not at all when you try, but if you don't and only complain they definitely won't get any better, probably even worse..
Mods can split it off, shouldn't be an issue

I've been under a psychiatrist for over a decade. Believe me, what you have now is a million times better than what I have been.
I constantly work on my issues. The biggest one I have had to learn is tolerance. How does one tolerate a world full of everything he doesn't like, and people tuned to a different frequency?
But there is only so much that can be done, and only so far I can go. I am what I am.
If I annoy you please, feel free to put me on ignore. That's the mature and reasonable way of dealing with that sort of a problem.
I have a severely mentally disabled foster brother who i've raised with my single mom for 14 years now, i know a thing or two about people who perceive the world in a different way and do things which don't make sense to others. Despite his age he can't read, write, understand fairly basic logical connections or socialize with other people and most of that will never change, but i still always try to inspire him to better himself, even when it frustrates him. Progress is slow, but some progress is better than none. Always keep in mind that there are people who are considerably worse off than you, losing a job or a relationship isn't the end of the world and in terms of financials you can't be doing too poorly either with your setup, i sure can't afford that right now.
Also i guess we need to get to a closing here, i can feel the slap from the mods for derailing incoming.
I have improved myself. At my lowest in 2008 I had no job, no life, no friends, had lost my car (and license) and so on. Add to that a divorce and a complete lifestyle change (having had to give up my life in the USA as I was not capable of maintaining it).
Now? very happily married. Very well medicated. ETC ETC.
As for people worse off than me? haha, my mother always taught me that. You know? when my dad died when I was 7 and I said basically "FML" she reminded me of that. And people who were hungry, had to drink dirty water etc.
However, one thing you will never see out of me is jealously. I encourage others to show me what they have got, share their happiness with me.
There are people far better off than me too.
TBH? my life is hard enough as it is dude without worrying what other people think. That is something else I have had to learn. And I have also learned that sometimes some people are just not going to "get" you and that's that. You just have to call it a day and walk away.
I'm also far too generous. When I used to have human contact I also got screwed over all of the time because I was too trusting.
But yeah, about the easiest way I can describe myself? I'm like a radio tuned to a different station. I sound "normal" and I look mostly "normal" but inside I am far from it.
What you see on these forums is the best of me. You don't get to see the bad. You don't see me constantly getting infections in my fingers due to biting my nails until they bleed. The shaking, the blackness. The anger, the smashing things etc. Control is probably my worst trait.
Also consider I barely ever leave my house. I don't drink (gave that up for the sake of others) don't smoke, don't have any habits that cost money. I go out once a week to see my mother and when she's gone I doubt I will leave the house more than once a month.