so i think my GF cheating or maybe about 2

[AMDFTW]

hey,well i never thought this would happen to me but i think my GF is cheating or maybe in the startiing stages of it.

it all starts on how we got together she cheated on her BF (who was a ass) with me but we had something special and i thought it was love at first site and she said the feeling is mutual so we got togther so i got back to uni in sept and she comes down to study at another uni near me, we are going finr for the first month a few teathing problems like when we first whent out clubbing together (WOW BAD IDEA) and just minor thing's.

anyhoo last weekend she was at her house and i was to i said to her ime nipping home ile be back in a hour,all is well but my new cooler came and i thought hmmmm ahh only take abit so got that out the way and got ready and made my way back to hers granted i was 3hrs late but she dident question it or anything so i see her on msn i think nothing off it,turns out its 2guys who she has nown for like 10years (its true ive seen them before) so anyway she gets drunk and i laydown and she thinks ime asleep so this guy starts flirting as i can hear him on video call and she is having none of it (she thinks ime asleep) basicly says my BF is far more amazing and i love him to bits.

now the 2nd guy has fancied her since he met her,and as always been a loyal freind,basicly he is fliriting with her on video call WHEN IME SAT THERE and the drunker she got the more she kinda gave it back,so when to the bathroom but left the bathroom door open,and i could hear her laffing and saying YER and yes,i open the door and she immedietly shuts off the msn cono and starts nervus laffin i then question what she was saying and she says i dont no,she was hammerd by this time,and whent on to say IME DRUNK IME DRUNK.

so anyway the mornig after she whole hartedly apologised and says thats she was not acting like a GF Aand cannot apologise enuff,she just wants to see me ( i whent home) so i meet her in town and it was awkward cut a long story short it was me doin all the talking and she just answrd kinda and looked upset and annoyed and said abour how discusted she is with herself.

so anway the otherday she was realy quiet and weard and had been on her phone most of the night soi kinda whent into a lilbit of a paddy and she was askin ME whjat was wrong yet we cuddled and kissed etc etc so i phoned a taxi to nip home as i wasa goin to the gym long story short she was upset with me and had it in her head that she was feeling like she is losing me i was unaware of this till i saw on msn,tha this guy who fancies her had cheered her up and her status was 'ahhhh thankyou you are amazing' etc etc thrownig it in my face realy,so i get upset wondering why she dident tell me her BF but her mate and it ****ed me off the fact that he cheerd her up and not me and also she whent to him with her problems.

so anyway i got back to hers (i just turn up) she is on msns 2 the same guys as the weekend as i walk in she notices me and clicks off msn and sighns out,and says 'i did that so we can talk,ime not hiding anything',so we resolve the situation andshe apologises.

anyway last night xfactor was on and we had a silly aguement about olly and cherol cole,real daft anyway goes on n on she gets her phone and starts messing with it,i turn around and say who you textin she says no one the nBOOM she gets a text through and she laffs a little anway i hear one more tex come through she then puts in on silent,i ask her who it was she says its her gay mate (bestmate) i say ok bit weard textin at 12:30am as he has never got cred anway she said i text him,then says he text me muddling her story up and i new that after i said ewho you textin she got a tex i was soooooo adoment that i called her a liar and that i dident beleve her,and said well prove me wrong she said i could if i still had the msgs i then whent on to ask why she deleted them she says i just did,i asked what the msgs were about she said about me and why i go in thesee moods etc etc.

well hear is the gashpart,she fell asleep and i new she deletec the msgs but her call history also shows msgs and who they were from also if it was sent or receved well i checked it and................................................it was the guy from the weekend the one that realy fancies her and the one that cheerd her up and has been flirting,he txed her at 12:30am and she txed him etc etc for about 2-3times,so i thought ok she cant stop ppl txtin her,i then see that she has txed him on friday but she got no reply,she has not told me anyoff this and has lied about them talkin,i dont no how long thay have been speaking or how long its been going on but its uopsetting me

she speaks about the future and is loving and,she tells me she loves me with all her heart,and i love her to with evrything.

but i need to narrow this down chaps,what would you do

 

[siravarice]

Come straight out and ask her what the hell is going on, because if she is going to mess you around then you are better off on your own.

The only way to work things out is to talk about it, and if you can't manage that without getting angry then there is little chance of things working out.

From what you wrote I would give it a week or two at tops. Just make sure you don't go see this guy she is texting because that would be bad on your part. Just make sure you are whiter than white, that way when it does go wrong (and it looks like it will - sorry!) you won't feel so guilty.

Hope that helps dude, been here before myself!

 

[AMDFTW]

Thanks for the reply man,so just come out and say 'why did you lie to me' or leave it a week or to and see if it continues????

we are in birmingham and he is in manchester,but i text him to ask why he text her at that time

 

[siravarice]

Don't leave it or it will get worse, and don't assume she lied to you. Just say you need to talk and ask her why things aren't like they used to be. Tell her you want to make things right and if she really does love you, she should be willing to work things out.

 

[AMDFTW]

Don't leave it or it will get worse, and don't assume she lied to you. Just say you need to talk and ask her why things aren't like they used to be. Tell her you want to make things right and if she really does love you, she should be willing to work things out.

she always is willing to work things out and so am i ime a one for if someone apologises (unles its major) its forgive and forget,and its the same for ither off us,ime not going to wait tho ile ask he later,but if i cant say why did u lie to me what do i say?

she did lie,she said it was her other mate,not this guy

 

[siravarice]

You have to ask the question in a subtle way so she doesn't feel pressured to give you an answer. Probably best to say that you don't like her talking to that guy because it makes you jealous. She will understand.

 

[AMDFTW]

i have done mate but i dont wanna be a **** to stop her talkin to her mates guy/girl just becouse they fancy her and always have done ,she says there is noting there and she dousent like him like that,do you think maybe thats why she dident tell me he text her so i woudent get jealouse or what?,how do you ask that kinda question in a subtle way

 

[siravarice]

Forget the question then, just tell her you get jealous quite easily and that you are trying to not get jealous so easy. If you think you are going to get in a argument in the future just calm down, say sorry you're right, and give her a kiss. AND ALWAYS SAY YOU LOVE HER.

 

[AMDFTW]

Forget the question then, just tell her you get jealous quite easily and that you are trying to not get jealous so easy. If you think you are going to get in a argument in the future just calm down, say sorry you're right, and give her a kiss. AND ALWAYS SAY YOU LOVE HER.

mate she noes i get jelus easy especialy of him ,i always tell her i love her n kiss her and have recently took a step back and calmed down and said ok you are right,but it still dousent answer the question as to why she lied to me i dont even no how long this has been goin on for

 

[siravarice]

Then if you have done that, just ask her. There isn't much more you could do after that.

 

[Judderman]

Thanks for the reply man,so just come out and say 'why did you lie to me' or leave it a week or to and see if it continues????

we are in birmingham and he is in manchester,but i text him to ask why he text her at that time

If I was you I would sit her down and have a civilised chat with her m8..dont confront her as it will end up in a full blown row and push her nearer to this guy!, also if you confront with wot you know she will also feel untrusted!

The problem in all relationships is after a certain amount of time you begin to take the other person for granted. The spark fizzles a little and the other guy offers that excitement back....take her off somewhere, just you and her for a change and put some sparkle back

 

[Youngie1337]

... wow, I read everything here which is the first, ever.

I know that this is a hard place and time for you man, but when they get away with it they will keep doing it. You really do need to confront her, infact I know you love her but do the same man, (excuse the language from here on, do not read if offended). Chat to 2 girls on MSN, tell her that they've liked you for awhile, and go on camera to them or pretend. Say to her that they seem to be flirting with you (yes say it to her). Let her feel how you feel, because you don't know how it feels until it happens to you. She will most likely continue to do this otherwise mate.

Give them it back, they don't like it when we talk to girls so why should she be FLIRTING talking to boys that like her????

If she has any respect and love for you, it would be YOU and not these *****s. At the end of the day mate, if they were her friends and respected her they wouldn't be flirting with her when she has a partner. They are all out for one thing, and she knows that. She just loves attention, all women do.

Say it how it is. Do not pussy out.

 

[ToeJam]

bah, hire an escort and your sorted.

 

[Rastalovich]

Tell her u need to have some time to urself. Not just cos it'll make for a cheaper christmas, but her reaction will tell u everything u need to know.

If she's a gash, u'll find out soon enough.

Oh and I'd not blame any other guy either. If a chick's gonna stray, it could be any guy.

Guys are guys. Flash of an eyelid or a smile and they're there. U should know cos u r 1

 

[AMDFTW]

thanks guys,well i confronted her about it,and she was in tears and said she did it not to hurt me as she thought i would think immidietly somethin was happnin,and she apologised and i seen something i never seen before i mean actual regret and remorse (you can tell) i had a go then thought whats the point,had some TIME together and we are set,but no ime gna keep hawkeyed about the whole thing.

but thanks chaps it was good to talk/write

 

[siravarice]

Glad to be of assistance kind sir.

 

[biscuitboy]

I just read this and went through a similar thing myself a year or 2 ago, completely agree with what judderman said tho, about the fizzle thing...

My Gf started getting chummy with another guy, I went down the kicking his head in route... Got arrested, spent the night in the cells and cautioned for ABH and that didnt do me any favours at all, but in a weird roundabout way I felt alot better and my Girlfriend realised I actually did give a **** and things have been spot on ever since..

Guess what I am getting at, is it really does take that grand gesture (Not necesarily hospitalising the guy in question) to make the girl realise what she has, as we guys can sometimes not even realise we arent being attentive enough or whatever...

And the asking questions thing and confronting her etc doesnt work man, if she wants to text this punk, she will... Whatever u do about it man. U literally have to make her realise he is a douche and you are much better... The way I did this isnt recommended tho, I was with the girl for 5 years and the guy really was a smug c*nt.. Good luck man, n I know its not what you want to hear, but if things dont get better break up and move on... Plenty more fish in the sea... Plenty mate.

 

[mrapoc]

ok im no relationship expert but

you shouldnt really be posting this kinda stuff on forums its a bit ya know

but mainly

dont get clingy or controlling or jealous etc. as this WILL make her cheat.

such as checking texts etc.

you need trust

also

like..theres no point trying to work out whats happening, you need to talk to her, work around the situation, aka dont say I TINK YUOR CHEATING LOL

but more like, ask about her behaviour, explain how you feel, work away from the cheating aspect and only get near it if she starts bsing you.

if she has an ounce of respect for you she will either

come clean

give a decent answer and fix her ways

lie to you, which will be obvious, then if your certain she has been/plans to cheat, haul her ass outta there

it will be hard, but the best thing you can do

butttttttttttttttttttt

innocent till guilty