I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ
so much. And I never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
have never figured out why men think with their head and women think
with their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene
gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do"
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT???!!!
What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the
planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional
needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a
man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love
me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing
that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which
one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new
shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for
each outfit. We went to the jewellery department where she picked out
a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited. She
must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to
think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when
she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a
loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is
all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when
I blurt out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went
completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT??!!!" I then
said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had
this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just
love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I
won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs
fly over a frozen hell while monkeys fly out her butt.
Boardy
so much. And I never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
have never figured out why men think with their head and women think
with their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene
gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do"
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT???!!!
What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the
planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional
needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a
man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love
me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing
that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which
one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new
shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for
each outfit. We went to the jewellery department where she picked out
a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited. She
must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to
think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when
she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a
loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is
all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when
I blurt out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went
completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT??!!!" I then
said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had
this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just
love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I
won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs
fly over a frozen hell while monkeys fly out her butt.
Boardy
