I think I just need to get back into training properly because it depresses me when I look at myself.
Since a little over a year ago, with me not training properly since, I've lost muscle in noticeable areas that angers me. My chest used to be much bigger than it is now, I didn't even have to try and "Flex/pose" my lats, I could just lift my arm tense and I could stick the tips of my fingers between the side of my chest and my lats...my fingers actually dissapeared beneath muscle! Now...there is no seperation between the two to stick anything in!
My stomach has obviously grown a bit, I used to nearly have a six pack, and to be honest from that point it was probably going to take a lot of long hard work to get a full on six pack, now...nothing, I wouldn't say I'm fat but I HATE sitting down and you gain a gut it really pees me off. I'm sick of it.
I spoke earlier about it being bad to obsess, but it's part of me I think. If I showed myself to someone maybe they'd laugh like what are you so worried about but I myself want to be the best version of me I can be. I'm going to need to obsess to get back to where I was. I'm just really annoyed now!