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Old 30-04-20, 01:39 AM
Pugsport Pugsport is offline
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just wanted to get this off my chest and see if i get any advice

Hello guys it seems like an age since i was last able to get on here and this is not the first post i wanted to make after all this time but could do with talking and getting this out and maybe some advice.

well i guess ill start from the start which was Sunday 8th of September 2019 early evening when myself and my dog were in the garden, she was enjoying the last of the sun and i was in my shed/workshop fixing a friends bumper when there was two loud bangs from the house over the back and a load of noise which sounded like stones being thrown at the back/left hand side of the shed/workshop but straight after that the dog comes running in to the shed/workshop shaking so i took her back inside to calm her down thinking that the people over the back were messing around in their garden again. after about 10 to 15 mins we came back outside to carry on as normal when i now saw some smoke from the garden behind us but again thinking nothing of it because they would normally have fires that created a lot of smoke but 30 seconds after getting back in the shed the whole garden was full of smoke, i then left to go and have a word with them about the smoke and soon worked out this was no bonfire as there was flames above the trees on the boarder of the gardens. i then put the dog in doors and went back outside grabbed my phone called the fire service and as soon as i was off the phone to them started taking the flammable items out of the shed/workshop (things like the 25 litre drum of thinners, gas cylinder for welder and paints) before they went off making it a hell of a lot worse but by the time id done that i had no time to save anything really of mine like tools, project van parts or anything worth any money as it went up so fast and our garden is not that long but after a min or two the heat was so much you could not get past the side of the house and there was metal fuel cans and god knows what else flying from their garden into our garden and all over the place, it really was like something from a movie and at this point i had to give up and go out the front and just wait for the fire service to turn up, when i got out the front i was pretty shocked by the amount of people out there (must have been the whole estate) asking questions as to what was going on etc

Monday morning 9th of Sep the 6am police turned up to search both gardens and stayed till 6pm that night. found handgun ammo, shotgun ammo, 6 cannabis plants. speaking to my neighbour that live on the left hand side of use i was told that the two loud bangs i heard before the fire were the bloke behind us shooting the shotgun at myself and the dog in the garden which was a bit scary, they also said that the police were there when he got the gun out and fired it twice. the neighbours to right hand side of us were told when they called the fire service to stay indoors and now i guess its because he had a gun.

i was not allowed back in our garden until Wednesday 11th of Sep to see if any of my stuff was still usable/worth saving. on going outside i was greeted with this sight

at first i was not sure what to think or feel, then i was like well i guess i wont need to think about starting work on the garden this autumn as its now gonna be a big job.

when going threw my stuff i found that pretty much all the project van parts that were in the workshop at the time were melted and burnt, all the tools i had apart from a few hand tools were gone, welder was water damaged, compressor was burnt and water damaged, workshop was a goner to as the rear wall was burnt out, the roof supports were also burnt away, the garden was now covered with metal, screws and all sorts stuff so it was not going to be safe for the dog to go out there at all not even just to go to the toilet. the windows and french door at the back of the house were all damaged with the heat of the fire, glass was smashed, frames were all out of shape and would not close, the french door was luckily shut and still just about works although its hard to lock and unlock now and you have to lift it to get it to close. on totalling up all that i lost in them few hours sunday night it worked out id lost just over £47,600.00 in tools, materials, windows, garden damaged, van parts, etc.

the worst part about losing the workshop was it was a place i could go to away from everything, forget about things for a while, while doing something i loved doing or was interested in. which has helped me loads along with the dog as in 2009 i was diagnosed with ME/CFS which in short leaves me feeling unrefreshed after sleeping, even after a 15 hour sleep or sometimes more id battle with being tired and having a lack of energy but that summer id promised myself that i was going to start making an effort to get myself back on my feet carry on building a business and maybe even look at starting to make some youtube videos and getting my work out there (the project van i was going to use a show piece to show what i could i do work wise with painting, carbon fibre etc) but sadly that wont be now and everyone that i had done stuff for in the past has now gone else where as im unable to do anything.

Ive had to sell what was left of my project van just to get some money in order to pay for solicitors fees to try and get my money back but so far thats been a waste of time as he has done nothing to help so far and ive gave him £600 already and ive not even had a letter sent for that.

at the moment my health has taken a real dive and im struggling to motivation to even think about getting up, ive also been that stressed out ive not been sleeping since the fire (getting 2 or 3 hours a night) not eating or drinking very much just pretty much lost my positive out look on life and my way. ill be 35 years old in august this year and now without the fire i would have been in a good place with a good chance of having my own business as im unable to get a job with a company due to my health issues this was giving me a more positive look on life and i starting to leave the past behind and starting to see away back into an industry that i have really loved since i was a child at school, its all i ever wanted to do and although ive learnt how to spray paint, bodywork skills and other bits on my own i was wanting to also use that to help other young people out to. in 2014 i found myself bed bound because i did not have the energy to get out of bed and the outlook from the medical people was not very good, saying that the chance of recovery from this were pretty slim but in late 2015 early 2016 i managed to overcome and turn a corner where i was able to get up and get around the house at least, although things were still not perfect and are still not perfect it was progress and although i was tired and still feeling pretty broken and low there was signs i might be able to get back to doing what i love doing and then in June of 2016 my cousin and her boyfriend persuaded me to get a dog and that month i got my first dog and new best friend Molly, she is always happy, able to make me and other laugh when we or they are down so much so that we are now thing that maybe she could become a PAT dog and help others out as she has helped me out so much threw my troubled times, she gave me something extra to fight for, get up for in the morning and that i should stand by her side as she has done mine and not give up, Molly and my girlfriend have stopped me from taking my own life a good few times over this last few months, while the person that caused the fire got 8 years 2 months in prison and his girlfriend or wife has now got her insurance payout. got the inside of her house done up for no reason, her roof done for no reason and also had the cheek to setup a donations page on facebook and get all the paint and interior stuff for her house donated to her from local businesses which leaves her with a nice slice of money to go out drinking with and spending on her kids, while everyone gets nothing but a big loss.

im still not in a perfect place now as i still struggle with a bad memory, emotions and still have bad days where i have to rely on other for help although its got worse over the last 8 months or so with whats been going on.

Local people to me that know what is what have said i should try and do the go funding to try and get back on my feet tool wise and move forward but i feel as though ive had enough of taking things from people and even more so when its not their fault and there is only really one person that should be putting it right but even more so with whats going on in the world right now it just seems so unfair to ask that of people as there are people out there that are worse off than myself.

Anyways sorry about that im just really not sure how things are going to play out at the moment and what direction i should be taking. sorry about the bad english/spelling im not the best at that stuff at the best of times but everything is just a little bit harder now. im unsure if this is really a rant of just get stuff of my chest but thanks all for listening

Ross

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  #2  
Old 30-04-20, 02:02 AM
KingNosser KingNosser is offline
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Always good to get things off your chest and there is me with mild stress of not being able to pay my council tax fully and on time cause I forgot about the date and simply didn't have the extra, emailed them so idk tbh a very small thing looking at your stress.

I'm sorry for what happened to your situation, life really does throw curve balls at us and while your feeling down the current situation in the world sure isn't going to help matters.

Getting outside for walks with the dog will help a little, but take this time to decide what you want and how your going to find help support to get to there even if it's just replacing the old with new and yeah that is a mountain of issues in that alone and your day to day isn't good atm.

I have my own health issues so I understand a few things about my mind, but for me distraction is often the best thing you can do, by far not the easiest but it can help a small amount.

I don't think the gofundme is a bad idea people that can help will I often look at the world in a bleek way but there are good people out there and you shouldn't feel bad about asking for some help when you need it even if it's only to get things back on the right road it'll take some time to get it all sorted but give it time and i hope that it'll work out for the better and this will just be another bump in the road of lifes many hills.
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Old 30-04-20, 11:47 AM
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RobM RobM is offline
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fn hell thats some scary man. least you are still with us
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Old 02-05-20, 02:56 AM
Pugsport Pugsport is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KingNosser View Post
Always good to get things off your chest and there is me with mild stress of not being able to pay my council tax fully and on time cause I forgot about the date and simply didn't have the extra, emailed them so idk tbh a very small thing looking at your stress.

I'm sorry for what happened to your situation, life really does throw curve balls at us and while your feeling down the current situation in the world sure isn't going to help matters.

Getting outside for walks with the dog will help a little, but take this time to decide what you want and how your going to find help support to get to there even if it's just replacing the old with new and yeah that is a mountain of issues in that alone and your day to day isn't good atm.

I have my own health issues so I understand a few things about my mind, but for me distraction is often the best thing you can do, by far not the easiest but it can help a small amount.

I don't think the gofundme is a bad idea people that can help will I often look at the world in a bleek way but there are good people out there and you shouldn't feel bad about asking for some help when you need it even if it's only to get things back on the right road it'll take some time to get it all sorted but give it time and i hope that it'll work out for the better and this will just be another bump in the road of lifes many hills.
Ahh stress is stress though mate and its one of the biggest problem we face, it does much damage and often goes unnoticed because its not something you can see. Talking about it is a good help for me at least although i have to admit i kind of leave it till things get worse than they should before talking about stuff, even more so when it comes to my ME/CFS because id rather people not see me for that because i hate seeing people i know out and about because thats the first thing they ask about how are you coping. im sure they will understand your position with whats going on at the moment mate and allow you to pay it at a later date like your next bill date.

its ok mate there are only two people to blame for the mess caused but apart from him going to prison she seems to have gotten away with not paying a penny towards the damage while having her insurance payout and using it to party because she got all the stuff for her house donated to her by local companies and still plays hard done by. yes its not helping matters at all but if im honest i dont really have the energy to get out a whole lot, normally walking the dog twice a day (id do the two shorter walks while my girlfriend does the longer one) and maybe going to the shop is about it. i think the last time i was out was about august last year for a birthday drink but i would rather spend my time and what energy i do have doing something useful like decorating the house etc.

yes walking the dog helps, just to get out the house and stop looking at the same four walls for a while, although the second week of lockdown i was stopped by the police for taking the dog out twice in one evening (5pm and 10pm) i did say well im allowed out for an hour a day and i was out for 20 mins the first time and 20 mins half hour this time so i did not see the problem but was told your only allowed out once a day for the maximum of an hour and it can not be split up, if i was seen out again doing it i would be getting a fine of up to £560. yes thats the issue at the moment apart from waiting for a possible insurance payout or the gofundme i cant see away of getting back to anywhere near where i was, i could try and get a job even a part time job but when ive tried before as soon as ive told them about my health issues the way they have spoke to me has changed (like im wasting their time) which in a way is hurtfully but then when i think about it as a business i can understand why you would pick someone healthy and reliable over someone that has health issues and some days many not be able to make it in, if i could find an employer that was looking for someone to do a set number of hours in a week with flexible start and finish times but happy as long as the hours are made up every week id be good with that, thats more like what i had working for myself really.

Ahh im sorry to hear that mate and yes a distraction is good, it allowed me to forget about it for at least a little while and get my teeth into something else. i used to use the workshop for just that, if i was stressed out or just wanted some alone to chill i could head out there refurbish some of my project van parts or build a desk, wardrobe or something for the house and i was happy. to be fair that sunday night i was lucky i ended up doing my friends bumper instead of painting the office desk build otherwise it could have been a whole different story. after the losing my project van id been doing for a good few years restoring from the ground im now gutted i cant even finish the office desk at the moment because i have no where to paint it and no paint guns, i have a few basic tools now like circular saw and stuff that i did replace from a little money i had saved up so i can build the other printer cabinet or storage cupboard but i have to wait for a nice day so i can do it outside and also have to wait till i can get some wood.

Yes i know maybe im just being stupid but i hate asking for stuff when its not thats person fault, if the boot was on the other foot though i would be happy to help with what or how ever i could but i just find it harder when its the other way around. maybe ill have to have a sit down and try and sort it out at some point over the weekend and see where it takes me. id like to get back to where i was and look to help some of the local kids out around here that keep causing trouble and thing by offering them something to do while learning a skill, even at the end of it if they dont want to do painting or cars if it helps them not end up in prison or trouble im cool with that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RobM View Post
fn hell thats some scary man. least you are still with us
yes the monday after finding it the two loud bangs were him firing a shotgun was a bit unreal if im honest and maybe i would have thought twice about being outside if i had of known at the time. yes thats one thing i am great full for
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Old 02-05-20, 06:29 AM
KingNosser KingNosser is offline
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The current situation doesn't help matters but it'll be a lot longer yet unfortunately.

My illness was triggered by an accident I had working in a foundry at the time on a shot blast machine, the overhead belt jumped and the one behind hit me into the machine, it was a very very close call, but I went into shock gradually went out of control over the following days until i'd snapped completely. Never been right since tried lots of times to do jobs I'd done before and also plenty of voluntary work but I only last so long before I know I'm at my limit again.

The tax bill they replied all ok no issue pay the missed on the 11th so was relife'd about that, last time around they sent court summons and had to pay a lot more than the bill to avoid court.

Once this whole situtation is over and dealt with I'm moving to my mums she's getting older now will eventually need help, but long term it feels better to be there and by the sea again and think about trying work again for another round of finding something that fits and wont stress me.

I stay in a lot have for the last 15 years so things as they are only effect me when I need to shop since no one can really help with that atm with things as they are, but I have a system to make it easier and can ask for help if needed they sent a letter at least but i just go out when i feel in a good frame of mind.

If your inside a lot then think of small mini projects in the house or make some plans/designs anything to take your mind away from things, personally i feel the current way of doing things in the UK isn't having the big effect they were wanting or if it is then darn the higher count would be insane, but generally i think if you can't go out for a walk in a field surrounded by no one then there is some real issues at hand idk it's a touchy subject cause people want to do the right thing, but me being me I'm not very trusting and massively paranoid about things my mind is always on the go i never get real peace and sleep lol sometimes it take 3 days before I goto bed.

Still can but hope things for everyone improve and that it'll get back to a more normal way of things sooner rather than later, sure hope so anyway cause I'm out in the garden at times mainly to talk to next door people to keep them sane as much as they normally do me, the social need and contact is an important thing having an outlet to vent is a real need for people.
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