Hi Guys
Im traning to be a pilot and got sent this emial by my flight school.
Subject: Aircraft maintenance
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet,"
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then
the pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas pilots and the
solutions recorded by the maintenance engineers.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: Something loose in cockpit.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: Something tightened in cockpit.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: Dead bugs on windshield.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: Live bugs on back-order.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces feet perminute descent.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: Evidence removed.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: DME volume unbelievably loud.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: DME volume set to more believable level.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: That's what they're for.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: IFF inoperative.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: Suspected crack in windshield.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: Suspect you're right.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: Number 3 engine missing.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: Aircraft handles funny.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: Target radar hums.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: Re-programmed target radar with lyrics.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: Mouse in cockpit.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: Cat installed.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a
Midget pounding on something with a hammer.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: Took hammer of from midget.
Im traning to be a pilot and got sent this emial by my flight school.
Subject: Aircraft maintenance
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet,"
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then
the pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas pilots and the
solutions recorded by the maintenance engineers.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: Something loose in cockpit.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: Something tightened in cockpit.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: Dead bugs on windshield.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: Live bugs on back-order.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces feet perminute descent.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: Evidence removed.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: DME volume unbelievably loud.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: DME volume set to more believable level.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: That's what they're for.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: IFF inoperative.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: Suspected crack in windshield.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: Suspect you're right.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: Number 3 engine missing.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: Aircraft handles funny.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: Target radar hums.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: Re-programmed target radar with lyrics.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: Mouse in cockpit.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: Cat installed.
PILOT’S COMMENTS: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a
Midget pounding on something with a hammer.
ENGINEER’S RESPONSE: Took hammer of from midget.
