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  #1  
Old 29-09-08, 08:36 PM
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Zoot Zoot is offline
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Installing Wife 1.0 :D

INSTALLING WIFE 1.0

Subject: Wife 1.0

To: Technical Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed

that the new program began unexpected child processing that

took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of

this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In

addition, Wife1.0 installs itself into all other programs and

launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other

system activity.

Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5

and Monday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system

whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the

background while attempting to run some of my other favorite

applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0,

but the un-install for Wife 1.0 does not work.

Can you help me, please!!!

Thanks,

Lord Joe Nevanen

Mission, TX

Tech Support Writes Back

Dear Lord Joseph:

This is a very common problem male employees complain

about, but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many

people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that

Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT

program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and

designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you

would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to

Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would

cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.

It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program files

from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend

7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried

to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more

problems than the original system.

Look in your help files under "Warnings-Alimony/Child

Support". I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with

the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also

suggest you read the entire section regarding General

Partnership Faults(GPFs). You must assume all

responsibility for faults and problems that might

occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be

to enter the DOS-command

C:\APOLOGIZE or click the I'M SORRY! Icon for Macintosh

systems. In any case avoid excessive use of the Esc key because

ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE/SORRY

command before the operating system will return to normal. The

system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all

the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high

maintenance.

Consider buying additional software to improve the performance

of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0.

DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short

Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is

likely to cause irreversible damage to YOUR hardware.

Best of luck.

M O J D E H H O J J A T I

Texpress Internacional

Morelos #105-B, Col. Centro

Texcoco, Edo. de Mexico 56100

MEXICO

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  #2  
Old 29-09-08, 08:59 PM
gotmaxpower gotmaxpower is offline
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What is this program?

Ahhhhh its in the humour section. I can be such a dumbass sometimes.
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  #3  
Old 29-09-08, 09:02 PM
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Zoot Zoot is offline
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Wife 1.0 - an upgrade to Girlfriend 7.0...

EDIT:

Quote:
Originally Posted by name='gotmaxpower'
Ahhhhh its in the humour section. I can be such a dumbass sometimes.
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Old 29-09-08, 09:07 PM
ionicle ionicle is offline
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i would assume so, its hilarious
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Old 29-09-08, 09:08 PM
Hyper Hyper is offline
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Very good
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Old 29-09-08, 09:14 PM
Bungral Bungral is offline
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Seen this a while back... Was very clever
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Old 29-09-08, 10:14 PM
gotmaxpower gotmaxpower is offline
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Now I actually understand it, its quite hilarious.
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  #8  
Old 29-09-08, 10:41 PM
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nepas nepas is offline
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i like that a lot
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Old 29-09-08, 10:51 PM
WC Annihilus WC Annihilus is offline
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Quite old but still very amusing

Another fun one
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  #10  
Old 29-09-08, 11:28 PM
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Zoot Zoot is offline
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I'm guilty of not searching the forums.... again....
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